Are You a Cancer or a Captain?

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What's up gang?

Welcome back to another episode of The Grindcast.

Get ready.

It's a new day.

And we're going to talk about are you a cancer or a captain?

Are you a cancer to the locker room or are you a captain in the locker room?

And I think the first step is if you're not a captain and you may be on the other side,

you've got to be open-minded in a minute because I don't think a lot of people want to be a

cancer.

And I think you have a really good chance of changing that and going from a cancer to a

captain if you have self-awareness to know that it's happening.

And so let me start out, you know, and tell you, I don't know at all, I'm not perfect.

But let me just give you a background of in all of my imperfections, why I think I can

talk on this subject is in high school, undersized was a captain in football, won a state

championship, went on to play Division 2 football, undersized.

You know, it's not like you're playing at Alabama or D1, but for my size and what God

gave me to be a four-year starter at a Division 2 level was pretty close to up there with

what the gifts that I was given.

And so I was a captain there also and then I was blessed to come in and work with a great

leader and a couple great coaches in the business that I'm in right now with American income

life and turned into a captain and leader there and had an opportunity to just celebrate

it over 18 years in this business and the majority of it has been leading others in a business

that isn't easy.

So I say all that to tell you, I feel like I got some education and background to talk

on this subject.

You know, I think when I look at the cancers, you know, these are the complainers.

There's a difference between somebody that is constructively trying to give feedback

in order to help themselves, the team and the organization and somebody that is just a

complainer.

And so, you know, there was a book out before and they talked about, I think the book was

above the line.

So I think a good way to explain this is BCD.

You know, I think people that are cancerous tend to do more BCD.

It's blaming, complaining and defending.

Always pointing blame as to why they didn't get the job done or blaming it on the organization,

complaining about what's not right, defending when anything don't go right instead of

taking forms of ownership.

Those are some signs.

And then, you know, you look at outside of the complaining and the BCD, it's the person

that's talking behind the back of the leader to others in the locker room that can't

change the situation, lobbying for a position, you know, for themselves.

And so, you know, when you look at that, I think it's like you're going to always have

conflict on teams, difference of personalities, difference of opinions.

And I think it's necessary as a coach because even myself, you know, I always say, you

know, at some point everybody's a coach and everybody's a player.

In a lot of sense, I'm a coach, but there's a corporation, there's a corporate company

above my organization.

And I have to be a player.

And I would like to think that over the years that I've been a good teammate in the locker

room to encourage growth in the company and encourage others more than I ever would

bring them down or talk bad about people.

So, you know, I think when you look at, are you a cancer?

I think if you're, I want friends, I saw a saying that says, I want friends that talk

bad to me, to my face and talk great about me behind my back.

I want friends that will talk bad about me to my face, but talk great about me behind

my back.

And I think, you know, we're human.

You'll have moments, right?

But I think for the most part, I think if you could approach the situation as, look, I

got some things that I think aren't positive for the group, for the team, that's another

thing on cancer.

Cancer's are always worried about themselves only.

We're all human, right?

As kids, you know, it's around the holidays, you see, kids don't want to share their toys

very often.

We're born this way.

It's born, we're born kind of selfish.

And so it's a development of yourself to fight the urge of having the disease of me.

I think cancers have the disease of me, everything's about me, me, me, me, me.

And captains and great leaders and teammates, they're all, of course, you're going to have

some selfishness for sure, but it's about how can I make the group better.

And so when I look at that, it's, it's cancerous if you're always talking negative behind your

back, the back of your coach to others.

Even if you don't like your coach, it's going to backfire on you and end up causing people

on your team and in your organization to not be coachable to you and to make them question

you as opposed to thinking that you're building loyalty to yourself and not to the coach, you're

going to cause your own team to implode and explode.

You just watch.

If you don't believe me.

So I think the healthier way to go about that is in the locker room, nine times out

of 10.

Once in a while we may have to, how to love, hey, what do you think about this?

What do you think about that for coach?

I don't really love this decision, but it is what it is.

I think it all can be summarized by this.

Because any good coach needs feedback from his players, especially his better players

and the bottom needs feedback.

And I think a good coach will take some of that feedback into consideration.

But after the feedback has been taken in a decision has been made, I think the growth

mindset, the captain is the person that says, all right, coach may display call.

It's not what I want to do.

Now what I would have liked, but now I'm going to run this play call like it was my own

idea is what it is.

I'm not the coach.

So I told coach, I felt coach heard me out, but says, this is the play call.

Now I'm running this play call like it was my play call and I'm going all in.

Versus the cancer says, I'm going to voice my opinion to the coach.

Coach don't change the play.

If coach don't change that play, I'm on strike.

I'm taking other people down with me and I'm talking negative about the coach behind

his back.

That's the difference between a cancer and a champion.

After we break the Huddled, what do you do?

Whether you agree or disagree because we're not always going to agree.

I also saw something.

I think this again was a John Maxwell said, every leader in the organization, when things

go down, let's talk about things going down in a bad way.

Okay?

Let's go down.

Every leader in the organization is carrying a bucket.

They're carrying one bucket of gasoline and one bucket of water.

What type of leader are you?

So I think the champions are carrying a water, the cancers are carrying gasoline.

There's a problem.

They pour gasoline on the fire.

Makes the fire bigger.

As the leader in the captain says, there's a problem.

I'm going to come to the locker room and put this out.

I'm going to put this out for my teammates, for my coaches.

I'm going to put water on it and see how many buckets of water did they need for me to

put on it?

How can I be a good teammate?

I think sometimes if you look at the difference in cancers and champions, you look at the

cancers are hateful and the champions are grateful.

People like a hater.

So we're competing.

We're in competition and people that are maybe they didn't win and I want to win.

But we're on the same team, same company, same whatever.

I'm grateful for the opportunity.

I'm grateful for the things that they do.

I look at, I'm grateful we get leads.

I'm grateful we get a bonus.

I'm grateful for the leader that I got, even though he's not perfect or she's not perfect.

I'm grateful.

I look at all the things that I'm grateful.

I think the captains are looking at all the things they're grateful for.

While voicing to the coach some things that they think can change and I think the cancers

are just hateful.

Haters.

If they didn't win, they hate on the team that won.

If they didn't win, they hate on the person that won.

They're grouchy.

They're grumpy.

If they didn't win, me, me, me, the disease of me.

I think if you're a captain, you understand that it comes with great responsibility.

I think sometimes the cancers think that the higher they climb, the more rights that they

should have.

I think the captains understand the higher that you climb, sometimes the less rights that

you have, because people are looking up to you.

So I can't do this.

I can't do that because I want to lead people down the right.

I can't snap out like this the way I want to.

I can't get up late.

I can't do these things because even though I can, because I'm the leader now and I'm up

here, I want to set the tone for the rest of the locker rooms so I can't do that.

I have less rights.

The bigger I get, I have less rights.

And I think the champions understand that and I think the cancers think the world owes

it to them because they climbed up the ladder.

Are you the loafer?

Are you the one who has your a leader and have some good stats?

Are you the one loafer in practice?

Are you the one running sprints beating everybody like Michael Jordan up and down, up and down

to Kobe Bryant, Tom Brady.

You look at the people that have consistently won championships.

They're the leaders like I've had multiple Hall of Fame great coaches tell me that if

you're best players have that type of attitude, you have a chance to have that great attitude

in your culture.

Do you help your teammates or do you tear them down?

And I mean not your exact so if I'm on the defense and you're on the offense and I

willing to help the offense or if I'm in this company and I'm running the team here and

you're running the team on the other side and you call me and ask me a question and I

will and to help you.

Do you help your teammates or do you tear them down?

I think sometimes the cancers if they don't score, if they didn't have the most points

even if they're team one, they're upset.

I think the captains and the leaders understand even if I didn't score the most points I'm

happy because my team won.

That's a captain.

That's a leader versus a cancer we won.

One four games in a row but I didn't score enough.

I'm mad.

Now there could be a mad I'm going to the coach because I think I can help the team better

score more but it is what it is.

I'm happy versus I'm going to spread cancer around the locker room and make drag my

coaches attitude down because I didn't get the ball enough.

Think it was the former UCLA Bruins coach, one over ten national championships that said

the person that scores has ten hands because a basketball team, there's five players playing

at one time, each of them got two hands, ten hands and so as the leader, your job is when

you score to give credit to the whole team and to make sure everybody else is getting

love versus the individual that unless I score I ain't giving nobody no love.

Think the cancers look for the negative in every positive and I think the captains look

for the positive in every negative.

In my experience, explosive conflict only ten percent of the time is due to a difference

of opinion, 90 percent is the delivery and the tone of voice of the person.

I think if you're looking at yourself and you're saying I don't want to be a cancer,

you're looking at yourself, you're saying I want to be a captain, then understand there's

going to be times of conflict and start working on your delivery and your tone of voice

with respect to other people when dealing with conflict, being open to a difference of

opinion and having respect and working on your delivery.

will make strides for the amount of fires that you're able to put out because as I

wrap this message up I just want to remind you a simple way to be put leaders.

I know everybody out there wants to be a leader in a captain when problems arise.

Remember that you got a bucket of gas in a bucket of water and try to be the one to

pours water on.

As a captain understand the liaison between the coach and the team is you and you represent that coach and you got to be loyal

and you got to look out for for both sides but you you have to be that person that even if there's conflict or even if there's

disagreements it's like having children that if there's an argument with the spouse you don't go talking bad to the kids

and polluting the house you don't let the house see it.

You don't let the kids see it.

You handle it internally and bring positivity to your household bring positivity to your family that's the difference between a champion of captain and a cancer.

The maturity.

Okay so I just want to as always thank you for the time invested into the grind cast.

I have nothing but well wishes for all of you and each of you that chooses to spend your time with us.

We appreciate you so much and I just want to encourage you all out there to continue to be lifters of people not leaners.

Hard times last or hard times tough times come but tough times don't last for tough people.

Right tough times don't last tough people do you've heard that right so I know there's a percentage of people out there that are probably going through some hard times right now.

Tough times don't last tough people do.

Be a champion be a leader control what you can control and we're grateful for you.

All right thanks for joining us on another episode of the grind cast get ready to new day.