13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Count money, man.

Money, man.

Stacked riches.

I'm trying to told him I'm a beast.

All right.

What's up, gang?

Welcome back to another episode of The Grindcast.

Get ready.

It's a new day.

I'm going to recap some bullet points from the book by Amy Maureen.

I think I'm pronouncing her name the right way.

Thirteen things that mentally strong people don't do.

Don't do the one I got.

Don't know there's different covers, big red cover if you're looking for the hard

back.

But first one is don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself.

You know, I think if we're going to look at toughness, mental toughness, I think the

first place, a lot of times your mind drifts to when things aren't going your way.

You know, think about we're talking about being mentally tough.

That means there's a reason why you need to be mentally tough.

It's usually start, it means controlling the narrative in your mind that wants to go

one way, negative, you know, typically negative or flight, run away.

And it's your body's natural reaction.

And I think part of the first thing that she noted is critical is if you're in a place

where you're feeling bad for yourself and you got the poor knees, we need to switch that

up and get on a journey of accepting responsibility and accountability and at least noting what can

I control?

What can I change, whether it's tough or it's sad or it's unfair, life is unfair, life

is tough and at times life is sad.

We got to be able to move forward and control, we can control.

Number two, don't give away your power.

You know, I think in this one, you know, for me, I would just say like giving away your energy

of to negative thoughts, negative things on TV or negative conversations or what people

are saying about you or whatever, you only have so much energy in you.

Don't let things and negativity drain that energy from you.

So don't give away your power and your power to control things that you can control and

put it in somebody else's hands and focus on all.

This is just the way it is or whatever it is, take control, take power into your own hands.

Number three, don't shy away from change.

Life is change.

To live over a period of years is to adapt.

We got to be able to adapt, change or die.

I think was one book that was out there.

And so just part of life is changing.

You know, look back 10 years ago, 20 years ago, look how much life has changed.

We could be upset that life has changed.

We could be upset about this or upset about that.

But we can't, things that you can't control, either adapt to or those things end up

hurting you or you not taking full for full opportunity.

So let me give you an example of, and it's just my perspective of it.

In a business setting, you know, I don't know if I wasn't in business if I would use social

media, believe it or not, I was the last person that I knew to get on social media.

I remember the transition of I fought it.

I didn't want to get on social media.

I looked at it as like it was television, like just wasting time.

And I remember people talking me into it and explaining it, you know, to me a little

bit more and I started getting uncomfortable and getting on social media.

And you know, no doubt as a parent with kids, do I look at the negativity of what social

media can bring to young people and to people in general, no doubt.

But there's also positive.

There's a lot of positive things that.

And so I could say, all right, well, I could just be mad that there's social media or I

can adapt to what is going on and don't shy away from the evolution and shy away from

the change.

And so I went all in on the social media aspect of being able to grow a business through

social media, spread positivity through social media, messages like this through social media

instead of shyin' away from the evolution and change.

And then I got friends of mine that have done the opposite.

They just have like refused to adapt and change.

Number four, don't focus on the things that you can't control, right?

That we were already discussing.

I think that is a huge one.

Very, this is a huge one.

Most of the times when I'm trying to talk people through hard times, mentally, a lot of

times they're stressed about things that are out of their control.

And so think on your life right now about what things are you trying to control that

are out of your control?

That's what typically starts to drain you of mental toughness.

These things are out of my control, so I'm going to get upset about it.

I'm going to get stressed about it.

You can't control it.

Don't spend too much time on it.

Number five, don't worry about pleasing everybody.

People pleasing everybody.

You're never going to please everybody.

So if you get sad and down because this person's mad at you or this one said something negative

about you on social media or this one thinks you're bad or this one thinks you're fat or

this one, if you get so worked up about trying to please everybody, it's mentally draining.

And so do your best.

Doesn't mean doesn't mean don't care about anybody, but you're never going to please everybody.

So don't let everybody or certain people get you down.

Number six, don't fear taking calculated risks.

Typically the rewards in life come from a certain amount of risk that comes with it.

Key word in there is calculated risks, not just out there taking crazy risks.

I see people taking crazy risks where they would have a better chance of just taking

the money and going down to the casino.

And we got a 50-50 shot of putting a million on black.

50% of the work, 50% that it won't work.

So it's a calculated risk which should be measured.

You should be confident in it.

You should have research done on it.

You should think it through as much as possible, but you got to be able to take, I think sometimes

fear keeps people from taking risks, which keeps them from moving forward.

So don't fear taking calculated risks.

Number seven, don't dwell on the pass.

Again, goes into things that we can't control.

We can't dwell on the past of life.

That's why I was explaining to my kids in the car recently, the windshield in the rear

view mirror.

And I was saying do you know why the rear view mirror is smaller than the windshield?

And I was saying because what's behind you is nowhere near as what's important as in

front of you, as important as what's in front of you.

That's why the windshield is so big.

What's behind us, already behind us.

And so we can't dwell on the past.

If I'm trying to drive looking in the rear view mirror the whole time, what are you

thinking is going to happen?

We're going to crash.

If you're looking in the rear view mirror, your life all the time, you're going to crash.

Life's going to crash.

Look through that windshield, baby.

It's over with.

Learn from it.

Nobody's perfect.

Things happen in life.

Most of the time they end up working out for the better this two shall pass.

Like you made a mistake or if something happened, don't spend too much time looking in that

rear view mirror.

Look in the windshield and keep it moving.

Don't dwell on the past.

Number eight, don't make the same mistakes over and over and over again.

It's one thing to make a mistake.

That's normal.

Everybody makes mistakes.

It's don't make the same mistake two, three times.

That's when we start doing stupidity, stupid things when we're not learning from our mistakes.

So mentally strong people try to learn from their mistakes.

Number nine, don't resent other people's success.

Huge.

Don't be a hater.

Literally, I videotaped my daughter.

This recently we went to a national dance competition and my daughter did well and most

of the things, she gave number one in one of her solo dances and proud of her.

But I always tell her, I'm proud of you regardless.

I'd be proud of you if you were 10th place.

It's not about the place.

What are we learning in the process?

And so I recorded her because she has one of her friends that she dances with at her

same school in studio is also extremely talented.

Both of them are really good.

And they're in the same age group and they're in the same bracket.

And so they had solos in this national competition and those two ended up being in the top five

that had to recompete.

They had to go out there and compete against each other.

And it's tough competing against your teammate.

And so I'm looking at her teammate on stage and as she's performing, my daughter is cheering

for, clapping for, screaming for all of these things.

And they know that they're competing against each other.

And I start recording her and I recorded my daughter and I recorded her dance and I recorded

her for about 30, 45 seconds.

And when it was done, I replayed the video and showed my daughter and I said, I'm proud

of you for this.

I wanted to show her that I was proud of her and I put more emphasis on this than anything

that she ever wins or trophy she wins.

I'm always careful about giving too much praise when we're winning trophies.

But the character stuff is what I try to put the focus on.

And so I said, look, I'm proud of you because you guys are competing against each other

and you weren't being a hater.

You were supporting your teammate and your friend.

Man, this is a tough one.

It's not easy.

I see grown adults fail at this.

It's not a natural human reaction to cheer for somebody else's success or be happy for

somebody else's success.

I think if you just look at kids, when other people have a toy that they don't have or

if a kid gets ice cream and they don't, it's natural reaction.

We're born to like cry and be upset over stuff like that.

So if you don't learn and develop and fight the urge of that internally and develop as a

person, then you end up being a hater on accident.

And I think a lot of people end up haters on accident.

And when other people are successful, it's like the whole come up.

People will tell you this that have had success.

When you're climbing up the ladder, everybody's rooting for you as the underdog and people

are happy for you, happy.

And then when you get to a certain level, when you reach pinnacle level, everybody's looking

at you.

There's so many more people now that are haters that are hating on you, wanting you,

looking for you to fall and fail and man, character driven, deep people with integrity that

have developed the right way, the people that I like to be around.

And I watch how they treat other people and what they say about other people.

Because it's you, of course, they're not going to tell you how to, you know, about

yourself.

And so I think it's important from a mental standpoint to check yourself.

Are you genuinely okay with other people's success?

Are you rooting for other people to have success or are you disgruntled when other people

have success?

So don't be a hater.

Number 10, don't give up after the first failure.

I think it was Winston Churchill that said, success is going from failure to failure.

Without losing motivation, right?

So it sounds good to hear an quote.

It does not sound good or feel good to go through a real life.

But if you're going to be mentally tough, you can't give up after the first failure.

You're going to fail.

Part of being successful is failing and continuing to show up.

Even if somebody finishes their career undefeated, which rarely ever happens.

But let's say I got a boxer that, you know, I think did Mayweather go 50, you know, or

something.

There was somewhere on that journey where he failed at something.

He was failing at the jab or failed in sparring or lost in sparring or on the come up.

There was failures and he continued to show up.

Or in teams, team sports, you know, you fail, you lost, but you continued to show up.

You weren't good at this thing or that move, but you continued to show up.

You got to be able to fail and not quit and give up after the first time that you failed

things or fail at something.

Okay.

Number 11, they don't fear a loan time.

A lot of your mental development and mental strength will come from spending time with,

you know, to me, I say, it's just, you know, me and God.

Spending time with yourself alone.

Fear alone time.

Get some time with yourself and you're spirit in your soul and let yourself get some time

to yourself, to pour into yourself and to listen to whatever it is that you believe

in.

You know, they say, prayer as you talk into God, meditation and sitting and waiting is

given God the opportunity to talk to you.

And a lot of times that will happen to you if you give yourself time to be alone.

You even look at things that I've watched or friends of mine that I know are even watching

Mike Tyson.

He said, one of the most peaceful times he ever had in his life is when he went to prison,

you know, and he was alone.

Number 12, don't feel the world owes you anything.

That's what mentally tough people don't do.

This week, we categorize as entitlement.

Make sure, check yourself when you listen to this.

Check yourself and say, man, am I feeling like people owe me something?

I feel like the world owes me something.

I should have this.

I got to have this.

I should have this because I work so hard.

I'm owed this stuff.

Man, that puts you in a tough mental spot.

When you're doing stuff like that

and you're thinking that way that the world owes you something,

it starts to play it more long.

The lines of mental weakness and mental toughness.

And then the last one, number 13 that they had

and the 13 things that mentally strong people don't do

is they don't expect immediate results.

I think that is a great one to end on

because success is in the process.

Nobody likes the process.

I say the word success starts off with the word sucks

for a reason because the process typically sucks

because the process is, I would say the process is like,

man, I'm doing all the work right now

but I'm not getting the return.

I'm not getting the results.

I'm working for free.

I'm working 100 hours, I'm working 50 hours, 60 hours a week.

I'm working, imagine working for two months straight

and making three bucks an hour.

That's what the process is like.

You got to keep showing up, you got to keep getting your butt kicked,

you got to keep putting it into work.

And it's usually not an immediate return.

And so most people quit somewhere on that journey

because the next level always requires a sacrifice

of where you're at or sacrifice of something to go up.

You got to give up to go up in the process of that give up.

It's not a quick fast trade off.

If I give you 100 hours today, you give me back all the money back

next week for all the time that I put in.

It doesn't happen that way immediately.

Or I'm going to put in blood, sweat, and tears in this sport

or on the mats or whatever it is all week long

or all month long or two months long.

I want you to make me an animal beast perfect immediately.

60 days.

Soon as I'm done with that process, it doesn't work that way.

And so mentally strong people realize that they can't expect

immediate results.

That's why you'll hear people say fall in love.

Think about somebody that you've been in love with or something

you've been in love with, in love.

They say fall in love with the process.

But I just explained that the process on the way to greatness sucks

because it's doing all the work and not getting the return.

That's the process.

I'm doing all this work and I'm not getting the immediate return

that I deserve off of the work.

And then when I did get the return, the next level requires me to go back to the process,

which means I'll pay in advance before I'm going to get down the road

and who knows exactly when it's going to be.

We don't always know a set date.

If I put into work for the next three months next year on October 21st,

I'm going to get a return.

You just got to embrace in love the journey, the process.

That's why it's all about who you're becoming versus what you get.

Because if you become it, then you get it down the road

and that's why you got to just love the process because the process is just making you

who you need to be to fit into the life or whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish.

So, hey, that's the 13 things that mentally strong people don't do by Miss Amy Maureen.

For those of you that are trying to go out and get that book, I liked it.

I would recommend it.

But let's be strong.

Life ain't easy.

I know it ain't easy if it was easy, everybody be doing it.

But if you're in a tough season in your life, I want to tell you that this too shall pass

just like winter turns the sun.

And sunshine, that's why I'm in the shorts today.

I'm getting ready to leave here and I'm going to be out in the sun, getting mentorship.

40 years old, I'm getting mentorship and guidance because I'm not good enough.

Always got to pour into yourself and realize that the next level creates a takes a new you.

So thank you and shout out to you for investing your time.

Those of you that listen in on this, I know it's, you understand that.

You want to become a better you and you think that the 20 minutes that you invest it today can help you do that.

And I hope you got some value out of it and I appreciate your time.

So thanks for joining us on another episode of the Grandcast.

Get ready. It's a new day.