When Loyalty is Tested

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Money, man.

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What's up, gang?

Welcome back to another episode of The Grand Cascade.

Get ready.

It's a new day.

And we're going to talk about loyalty is tested in times of challenge, discomfort, and

disagreement.

And so, you know, I think some of you that have paid attention, you know, for a while

have seen, you know, moments where I would wear the shirts to say loyalty is rare, right?

So loyalty, you've probably learned at this point in your life, you know, loyalty is rare.

And so, what I've learned about loyalty is that loyalty is really tested under fire.

You can't really test loyalty until there's a little bit of disagreement.

You don't really know how loyal somebody is to us until they have an opportunity or an

easy escape to not be loyal.

And so, you know, this is going to be in your relationships and business and life, you

know, which type of person would you like to roll with, what type of person would you

like to be, a loyal person or a disloyal person?

I think most people want to be loyal.

And so, why are so many people disloyal?

If you want to be loyal, why are so many people disloyal?

The same reason why people want to be successful is so many people are not successful because

it's hard to be loyal.

It's hard to be loyal because there's going to be times when you disagree.

And so, if we're only cool when we agree, that ain't true loyalty.

And so, most people can't stay for a moment of disagreement or if there's opposition or

if they get offered a better situation, you know, or whatever it is.

And I get it at times in life, you got to do things that are best for you and your family.

And I also understand that some people can manipulate loyalty.

That's not really, you know, they're not loyal back, right?

So, if you're loyal to something or someone that's not loyal back to you, I think where

loyalty starts is with your heart and with the understanding of really just doing the

other people what you would want done to yourself.

So, let's just start there.

What would you want done in that situation?

You know, and there's even things as much as I feel that there's always opinions vary,

right?

So, you ask enough people, you're always going to have just like if there's a vote for

mayor or president or whatever, you're going to have people that vote against things or situations.

But, you know, I think for the most part I could win a vote in the majority of people

that have been around me long enough as being on the side of loyal.

And you're going to be, you know, you always got a couple outliers out there that would disagree.

But I think that on the loyalty aspect of things, it starts with what would you want

done to you in that circumstance for situation?

And then if you're not happy with something communicating it, I think being real to somebody

is loyalty, right?

I'm not going to just up and leave a circumstance or a situation or a person without giving

them an opportunity of me being willing to fight for that while I'm like, let me at least

communicate it to you a few times.

Let us have an opportunity.

You know, what I mean is like, all right, the couple that's in the couple that never

fights and then all of a sudden they get in one argument and the person is gone and

out the door of like, wow, we're divorced.

You had one fight or we got, we got, we got two arguments.

We've been together for five years and all of a sudden that person is gone, you know,

out the door.

That is something that I think, you know, is a communication barrier breakdown that there

was disagreements that things maybe didn't ever get hashed out.

But I think that is a circumstance where you need to bring those things to that person's

attention before we just up and up and roll and up and leave a situation or circumstances.

So it's remembering where you came from.

It's putting yourself in each and every one of those circumstances of what I want done

to me, what what I want somebody to do to me if I were to roll, you know, reverse roles.

And if typically if you, if you are a loyal person, you'll create a lot of loyalty around

you.

It doesn't mean everybody's always going to be loyal.

But if you breed disloyalty, you're going to get more disloyalty than the person that

is loyal to other people, right?

So, you know, sometimes I think what happens to people is they get burned.

And so it hurts their heart.

And you know, I don't want to force my faith or belief on anybody, but I know in the Bible

it says, you know, to guard your heart above all else for out of your heart, everything

else flows.

And so, you know, I think so many times people will get burned in their heart.

They'll get burned from loyalty, a lack of loyalty.

And then they harden their heart and it's like, man, they just cut themself off from that

ever happened again, right?

Because even when you're a loyal person, you're going to get hurt.

Even in, in, for those of you that do good out there and you're like, man, how does this

happen to me?

How could this person do that to me?

You got to remember even Jesus had a Judas.

So what do you think it's going to be for me and you, you're going to have those circumstances,

you're going to have those things.

And so I think a lot of times it's the person that gets burnt, that was a loyal person that

kind of stops.

And then you got the people that are just this loyal and then they create this loyalty

themselves.

They're like, man, I'm cheating on my spouse.

I get into a relationship with somebody else and then they wonder why would that person

cheat it on you?

Would they found you cheating?

Right?

And so that's what happens is you just breathe this lack of loyalty around you when you're

a disloyal person.

That's all you're going to breathe around you.

But when you're a loyal person, you're going to breathe a lot of loyalty, but understand

you're still going to have this loyalty.

There is no, I haven't found the antidote for like 100% loyalty to where there's no, no

disloyalty out there.

And so just know as a person, if you're striving to be a loyal person, you got to be somebody

that could stand there when people are tested, when you're in a relationship and you guys

disagree.

It doesn't mean staying a toxic relationship.

It doesn't say, it doesn't mean staying in an abusive relationship.

I'm just saying in a relationship in general, there's going to be points that you're going

to have to work through things in moments where we disagree.

That you treat people the way that you would like to be treated, that you keep it real

with people.

It's that whole thing of like, why are people comfortable telling you things about me?

What does that say about you?

Right?

For example, let's say you have a mom, right?

And you know your mom is super loyal to you.

Well, I bet you a bunch of people ain't going to say nothing about you to your mom, right?

Because if they do, what's going to happen?

She's going to tell you, she's going to defend you.

She ain't just going to listen, right?

So if people can just talk about somebody else to you a lot, and that person is a friend

of yours, what does that say about you as a person from a loyalty standpoint, right?

So I think that most people aim to be loyal.

I don't know if people were taught how to be loyal.

You know what I mean?

So like, some people have the benefit of being growing up in an area or in a family or in

a household where loyalty is a value, loyalty is a virtue, loyalty is taught by what they

witness of like, man, this person is down.

They're a friend of mine.

How can I go be there for this person?

Not, I'm only friends with that person when they can do something good for me or when they're

up, when they're on the best part of their life, when they're on an upswing, it's like,

can I be loyal to that person?

Was I taught?

Have I witnessed other people act this way?

Because leadership is caught, not taught, right?

So sometimes you've got to give people the benefit of the doubt, I guess, that maybe

they didn't learn loyalty growing up.

Maybe they didn't see examples of loyalty growing up so they don't know how to be loyal.

So to me, the loyalty piece is, if you have a person in your life right now that is down,

are you there for them?

Are you finding ways to lift them up?

Do you have ways that you could be more supportive to people in your life that are loyal to you

that are down, that need your help, your encouragement, your back, you to have their back?

Do you allow people to talk behind the back of some of the people that you care about

and love that are friends of yours?

Do you speak up in those circumstances if you're truly loyal, right?

I'm not.

I think you question my loyal to that person.

If I allow things like that to go down and to happen, can you stay down if there's a disagreement

in the relationship, in the situation?

If there's a bad season, do you up and leave?

I'm talking about somebody or something that's loyal to you, right?

There's a mutual, we're in a marriage here.

We got turbulence.

Am I up and leaving because there's a little bit of turbulence.

I'm not talking about, I'm in a toxic relationship.

Boyfriend girlfriend and my boyfriend cheated on me seven times.

I'm supposed to stick it out because you're telling me that I'm supposed to be loyal,

like not that person ain't being loyal to you.

I'm talking about those types of things, somebody that's loyal to you that's shown loyalty

to you.

Part of that is, in any relationship you're going to have turbulence.

I think part of real, true love and giving the relationship the opportunity that it deserves

so you can be loyal is, I'm going to tell it to your face.

I don't know, I think I've seen a thing.

I want the type of friend that talks bad about me to my face and good about me behind my

back, right?

So versus the person that talks good about me to my face and bad about me behind my back.

Don't you want that friend?

Don't you want that person in your life to like, man, if there's some real stuff we got

to hash out, if there's some things that you really need to hear, I'm going to tell it to

you to your face because I love you, because I care about you.

And you got to be able to take the same medicine, but behind closed doors is different, right?

So am I going to up and leave you when you didn't have a good season?

Am I going to up and leave you when things aren't as good right now?

Am I going to up and leave you because you don't look as good today as you did 10 years

ago, those loyalty pieces of who was down for you in the trenches.

And then remember that it's difficult to see who's loyal in your life when everything

is great, when everything is rolling.

You got to look forward to those times where you have down moments in your life because

it gives you an opportunity to see who you could really trust and who's really behind

you.

If everything is rocking, if you got courtside front, front, front row seats to the games and

you're buying everybody dinner and everything is rolling and you're winning awards and everything

is awesome.

You can't really tell if people are really just along for the ride or if they're really

in your corner.

But when you go down, when you ain't buying dinner, when you ain't got front row seats,

when you ain't, when you're going through some stuff, that's who you see who's in your

corner, who's not in your corner, it gives you an opportunity to really pay attention to

see who's really loyal.

And then in those moments yourself, you can ask yourself, how can I be more loyal?

Because we all could probably be reflective of our life if we're being honest, me included,

to where I could look back on my life.

And say, man, you know what?

I could have been a better friend in this moment.

I could have been, I wasn't loyal in my relationship,

you know, as 17 years older, you know, whatever it is.

It's like that you can look back on your life

and reflect on times where you could have done better

in the loyalty category.

But all we can control is moving forward.

And I think the world would be a better place

if we have more loyalty and less disloyalty,

but loyalty is rare.

Try to be a rare breed.

If you're on the grind, Cass,

if you're listening to the grind, Cass,

and you're in the studio with us,

then you're already a rare breed.

And so I just want to encourage you out there to like,

man, live a life of loyalty in a world full of disloyalty.

The old school values of real loyalty,

those relationships are the ones that are deep in last.

Try to be that person for others.

You'll attract that for yourself.

Not everybody's gonna be that way.

Don't let it discourage you.

But I think there's nothing cooler

than have a real relationships with people

that have true, true, true, true, true loyalty.

And I want to encourage those of you in business.

If you're listening to this, I know I'm in your business.

And you've been in business for a while.

I know I'm preaching to the choir.

Give me a little amen if you're in your car right now.

Okay, if you feel what I'm getting ready to say,

but if you've been in business for a while,

you've been in a game of pursuing greatness for a while

and you're gonna understand it,

that there's gonna be times where not everybody

that starts to race with you will finish with you.

And there's gonna be times where you do things

for people in life that you can't believe

how much you've done for them, people on your team,

people in your business, people in your relationships,

friends, whatever, that there's things

that you've done for people and you can't believe

how that person after you've done all that for that person,

they could backstab you.

Don't let that make you give up.

Of course you learn and you grow wiser from those moments.

Of course you learn how to operate.

I'm still learning at 41.

I'm still learning.

I'm still learning lessons.

But don't let that stop you.

Guard your heart above all else.

Don't let that stop you.

Don't let that make you cold.

Don't let it make your heart harden.

Let it make you wiser.

But I think hold on to those people in your life

that life has had an opportunity to show you

some hard times and people that were in your corner,

people that showed loyalty when they didn't have to.

Those are the people you can't let go out of your life.

Don't forget where you came from

and don't let go of those people.

And then look for the opportunity back

if there's somebody that was there for you.

Who was there for you at hard times?

Who was there for you when you had down times?

How have you shown?

How have you been with going back

when those people have hard times?

Or how have you reflected?

Do you remember times where you needed something

or you went through a hard time and people weren't there?

Can you find other people around you

that you could go there and be there for

and put yourself in that person's shoes?

But I think man, there needs to be a manual out here

that not enough teaching and lessons going on

of loyalty out here in a doggy dog world.

So I just wanna encourage you out there

to reflect upon your life,

ask for forgiveness in areas that you think you need forgiveness in

if you think you could have been better

in certain circumstances with loyalty

or none of us is perfect.

Be loyal to people that are loyal to you.

Reflect on men, am I keeping people around me

that have shown levels of loyalty?

Am I being a loyal person to the people around me

to my spouse, my significant other, my friends, my leaders,

mentors, people around me, how can I grow in those areas?

Am I being loyal to myself?

But just no loyalty is rare and hang on to people

that have showed you levels of loyalty

because it's so rare those are the people

that you wanna keep around you in your life.

But let's not be disloyal to people that are loyal to us out there.

Let's live a life of loyalty and values

and bring it back and teach other people

how to be a loyal person

because sometimes you'll get hit with some of this stuff

in your life and wonder like, man, how did that happen to me?

Why did that happen to me?

Or it just happens to everybody, but don't let it shut you down.

Keep the train moving, keep the train alive moving.

Just be aware, be wise, be smart, keep learning,

but also be kind.

Don't give up on humanity

because there's a lot of good people out there

and I know a lot of them are listening to this message

right now in the Grand Cascade studio.

As always, you know how grateful we are for you.

So if you think this message has added value to your life

or any of the message that it value to your life,

can you share it with other people?

So maybe we can make a difference in other people's lives

in a positive manner.

As always, if you have any messages

you want us to talk on, touch on, teach on,

you have any suggestions, let us know

and we're always open.

So we appreciate your time.

Thanks for joining us on another episode of the Grand Cascade.

Ready us a new day.