The Grind-Cast “Special Guest Britton Costa”

Count money, man.

Money that grits is fine.

Fine told, trying to told him I'm a beast, but

What's up, gang?

Welcome back to the grind cast.

Stop it, areas here.

Get ready to do that.

What's up, gang?

Welcome back to the grind cast.

Today we're going to be interviewing and talking to a special guest and special friend of mine.

Britain Costa.

Thanks for, thanks for coming on.

Thank you for having me.

Thanks for having me.

One of the things that I'll get into first is, is tell you that, you know, we originally

met years ago before the business through a mutual friend Matt Diolis, who you were friends

with prior to the company, American income, best man in each other's wedding, things in

that nature.

So, but what sticks out to me is Britain has surfaced and always has been good in our business.

He runs his own agency within our agency.

He's an entrepreneur, owns his own, runs his own agency.

And in what he's doing, he has surfaced is one of the best currently right now in the

company for how fast he's been on fire growing this over the last few months and just

has really always been good, but like Jim Collins says, he went from good to great, you know,

I think this year, least on the way there.

And I think what I want to pull out of this moment, you know, I tell people, if you

want to catch on fire at times, go where the fire is at.

And so I think you're on fire right now, not that you haven't had success in the past

because you have, but right now I think we both can agree you're a little bit different

of a fire, you know, right now.

So I want to capture this moment when you have the momentum.

We'll go back on life, you know, we'll go back on how we got to this point, but the first

thing I think I want to pull right now is what's going right, you know, versus, you

know, if you look back a year or two years ago and you look at right now, what has happened

in your business that has caused, you know, the influx of growth in the first half of

this year, not even first half of this year, pretty much doing more than double what

you were doing a year ago, maybe more.

And what has happened, what things stick out that maybe other people could grab if it's

in sports or in a business or something that other people could tangibly grab that you

could spot?

Three things that I would break it down to would be consistency, discipline and self-development.

And when I say consistency, I think you got to be consistent in everything, right?

Just not the things that you say, you're endeavors, like the times that you wake up, the times

that you finish.

Let me jump in for a minute and tell you what comes into my head about you real quick.

I haven't told anybody.

Trustle was telling me one time that they went on four straight national championships

at Youngstown State.

And then the one year they got whore, I think they were under 500.

And then they came right back.

He said, we went back to the fundamentals.

I wasn't coaching the fundamentals like we always did.

I even went back to the fundamentals when I set my alarm clock.

He said, I think it was maybe 501.

He said, when I first started, I wanted to see the number one because I wanted to be number

one so bad.

And then as the years would go on, I would start to say, well maybe because it's 92 or

whatever, I'll say 502 and 503 or whatever.

He said, I started doing a minute based on the year instead of back where I started

with seeing the number one.

So I went back to number one, which is the consistency that you're talking about and

even the basic things of getting back to the consistency of things that you were doing.

Fundamentals, it's the key man.

Everybody wants to over cook everything.

If you get track to the basic and what it really is and you'd like really just specify

what is the most important things that you have to do.

In our industry, we have high impact activity.

So there's certain things that all you have to do is worry about in our industry, what

we do, personally recruiting, writing business, booking appointments.

Keep it as simple.

Everybody wants to do all these productive distractions.

I got to worry about my social media.

I got to worry about this.

You go worry about nothing.

Just you have to worry about what makes you great.

And when you get away from it, then you start doing a bunch of stuff that is irrelevant

and now it's too much of it.

And then you get away and then you just get basically you get exhausted.

Here we call it RGA, revenue generating activity.

So you get off of what generates the revenue and start doing all this other stuff that's

trick place.

So you would say consistency sticks out.

Consistency and then staying disciplined with it.

It's not like looking in.

It's not one day.

It's not two weeks.

It's not one month, right?

Because when you hit a high point, that's the easiest time to pull back because you get

complacent.

Oh yeah.

And then, but if you're good, or you hit the momentum dip.

Yeah, you've lost the momentum before.

So you have heard the smart ones.

The good ones are like, I got momentum now.

I'm never going back to this.

I know how much I got to John Maxx, why I got to take advantage of the law, big mo.

Yeah, you got to press harder because everything comes in seasons, right?

And like, you don't want to go back in the winter.

You want to like catapult in the summer.

So then again, what do we got to do?

We got to say super disciplined with the high impact activity stuff and then just keep

blazing it blazing it blazing it, right?

And then I would say self development.

I'm not saying you got to be like excellent or perfect, but you got to be better than you

were yesterday.

Does that make sense?

Like, you know, even if it's just one little thing, you just keep practicing and compounding

the effects.

They get intimidated by saying, well, I haven't been working out at all.

And you're telling me I got to work out six days a week.

Yeah.

Well, just start out with two days a week.

Yeah.

It's better than what you did last week.

Yeah.

You're up to four days a week.

It's better than what you did last month.

100%.

And you build on those victories instead of being intimidated by, oh, I can't go from,

you know, from, so doing something with the self development.

And even if it's lightweight, you know, everybody wants to go just jump back into where they

were.

You can't.

Like, if you were benching 315, you don't want to go back and be repping 135 because you haven't

been the gym for 10 years, right?

But you feel good on 135.

If you got through it, you just feel refreshed.

And then you have your body's like rejuvenating, right?

And then you work your way back up quicker because you already have it in your memory,

right?

Same thing with business, man.

It's the exact same stuff.

But the problem is ego gets in the way, right?

And it happened with me.

And everybody's like, oh, I don't have an ego.

That's BS, right?

Everybody got one.

Yeah.

Right?

Now it's how you control it.

And here's the deal.

Amen.

When you have an ego and you start to see mild success, you start to already, like,

you start to think you already got there.

Yeah.

I did it.

Yeah.

I stopped doing the things that get you in that position, right?

And then you say, oh, I don't have an ego.

You have an ego, just because you're not cocky, right?

If you stop doing the action stuff, you still got an ego.

Do you know what I mean?

It's not just what you say.

It's like, oh, I'm humble.

Well, you're not humble if you're not taking the same action.

You lost humility.

Yeah.

I think you made it.

Right.

It's more than just the words just because you say the right stuff.

You ain't walking that way.

You ain't treating people that way.

But your actions consistently are not disciplined or not processed.

Because you think you got it now now.

You got it.

You don't need to do these things.

And you have to go through this though.

You have to learn this.

This isn't something you can read in a book.

Yeah.

This is the thing.

Everybody wants to read, when I say self-development, right?

Podcasts, audiobooks.

That's not an action, right?

Because I know a lot of people that read this stuff.

You've got to go through the experience.

It helps.

It helps.

But you've got to go through the experience.

Amen.

It's like you can only, you can't learn boxing by just hitting a bag.

No.

You've got to get hit.

You can't learn football.

You can't learn football by watching football.

But you can get better by watching it.

Watching it.

Watching the film, studying the plays.

There's things that you can do to make yourself better, to accelerate things, and to make

it better.

The only way to get better is playing the game.

The only way to get better at boxing.

And I'm a couple of years in, so I can give Jiu-Jitsu.

Nine and a half years of Jiu-Jitsu, I know people that they can tell you the moves, but

they can't execute the moves.

Because they haven't sweat and glad and got tapped out enough.

Because they go.

They don't want to go through it.

They know what all.

The process of sucking.

You know what I mean?

In order to go, getting on 135, for a year, in order to move up and know what you're doing.

I agree.

They know it all.

They do none of it.

So like you see all these people, like, oh, I read this book.

I'm just in this audio, right?

But then I ask them this, how many implement at the speed of instruction?

Do you want them saying?

Instruction.

Right?

Boom.

You say it, implement it.

Everybody wants to wait.

I'm going to wait and use this in 90 days.

I know a bunch of that.

I know people can tell you about 100 different books and they ain't no nothing.

They don't implement anything.

They don't want to do the work.

10% actually do.

Yeah.

In fact, 10% actually do like when you see people go to all these seminars and stuff.

Only 10% actually implement what they learn.

So you got discipline in the self-development side of things versus maybe a year ago you weren't

as much.

Is that what you're saying?

That's the way it's like.

I think it's everything.

It's managing the time.

I'm very big on the time aspect of it.

I'm trying to jam now.

Our team now is trying to jam everything we would do in a year and one quarter.

So when we hear people say, oh man, I want to be agent of the month this year.

I want to win the quarter this year.

I want to get promoted this year.

Right?

Just simple, simple stuff, right?

Yeah.

I want to be agent this quarter.

I want to get promoted this quarter.

Yeah.

I want to get like X amount of checks.

I want to have this amount of recruits, whatever it is.

Love it.

Right?

So you jam it all in so you get four times more in a year.

Yeah.

Now if you fall short, look at the numbers there.

Come on.

They still already there.

Come on.

Right?

Yeah.

That's the first.

That's a big thing.

Yeah.

And I mean it keeps going down.

You got to write three forms of success.

First here, then we write it down, then we hit the action and it becomes a reality.

No doubt.

But the bridge is the action, man.

Yeah.

Like everybody thinks, oh, I'm going to write it down.

I'm going to wish him trying nothing.

Yeah.

The architect draws it out.

That's good.

You got to have that.

If you don't have an architect drawing it out, your house can end up jacked up.

Absolutely.

So you got the architect.

But if he just draws it on paper, then we all look at each other and we're going to

have a house.

The most important part is that we got to go ahead and lay the foundation.

Starting with the foundation, being that I've been through building a house a couple of

times, I could tell you the first couple of months, all you see is a hole in the ground.

You keep driving back every day every week and you're looking, there's nothing happening.

You know what I mean?

It's true.

Just dirt moving and then all of a sudden, I'll remember the process being the walls are

up and then every week I'm going in, there's something different.

Every week I'm going in, there's something different.

Every week I'm going in, there's something different.

So it looks like the house came together in a couple months, but it really took a year

or really took two years.

And what happens in business is people start to see an overnight success.

You know what I mean?

Going right now probably started a year ago or started six months ago, did just start

right now, the success that you're having.

So what strategies for somebody would you say that has lost momentum?

How do they get back on fire?

How do they catch that fire?

What did you specifically do?

And I know you named the three things, but how would they be able to take it and implement

it?

Take it and implement it.

Simple.

Three steps, right?

So anytime people want to get in business, their momentum backwards is a very first thing

they focus on.

What do you think the first, what's their top priority to say I'm successful?

What's a very first thing?

Yeah, right.

So it's backwards, where are the backwards?

So can't chase the money.

No, because they go money method mind.

Do you make sense?

Yeah.

Here's what you got to do.

I mean, this is like dead serious.

Mind method money, right?

Like people, people underplay this man.

Like how they talk to themselves, they don't process.

100%.

But if the mind is good, and it's like pure, right?

And you're doing things for the right reasons.

For instance, leadership, right?

We're in servitude.

We're serving.

We come to common ground to take people to higher ground.

Fact, right?

Money is the last thing.

Our top priority is impact over income.

It's the last thing.

If you impact enough people, the money comes.

Amen.

I think Zig Ziglar says that, right?

I just have it.

Yeah, he says, if you take care of enough people, your dreams come true, I think, right?

Me and I don't want to keep cutting you off.

I get excited because I'm going to say.

Yeah, right.

When I was spending time with Maurice, we were just talking about, we made a role together

that we don't want to do business with anybody that needs a paycheck that year.

Like if we get in this business together, you can't wait three years or wait two years

to where we don't have to focus on the money and we can just do what we do and serve people.

You can't get involved in that because they're going to be chasing money, not the process.

And the mind is jacked up.

That's right.

You can't get their mind right.

If it's mind, method, money, what do you do to get the mind right?

Because when you lose momentum, your mind probably starts playing tricks.

You know, am I in the right business?

Should I do something else?

Should I give up?

What am I doing wrong?

You know, those types of things.

How do you get the mind right?

Ask ourselves this.

Who do we talk to when we lose momentum?

People with no momentum.

Hopefully not.

But natural instinct.

Yeah.

Natural instinct.

We're talking about the average mentality is going to say, okay, I'm having a hard time.

Let's go talk to the water.

Let's go talk to the people that are not having momentum.

So now we have what?

Commonality with people that are losing.

It's easy to lose.

It's better to do them in ease with the water porn.

A mere more ease that it would red solo cups and you didn't see what we poured in there.

I'd say, listen, I want to be clear this is water, man.

Yeah, cheer.

See, here's to the H2O.

So with the mind, you've got to make sure that you get tapped back into people even if

you don't have direct contact with them, you have to find things that are the right things.

You know people winning, right?

For instance, Trestle is a perfect example for you.

His legacy is winning.

It's just what he does, right?

Naturally and reflexively.

He doesn't know any other way.

Even if he's losing, like in a game here in there, he's still winning overall long time.

He's in process.

Never changes, right?

He's consistently going the extra mile to stay on that winning culture.

That's where you got to go first because everybody wants to go back for the pity shit.

Do you know what I'm saying?

No pity party.

He's my loves company.

Right.

Like the worst thing you could do.

if you struggle in your relationship is hanging around five other men that are struggling

with a marriage or whatever.

But it's comfortable.

And it's comfortable because you know they're going to tell you what you want to hear.

You don't want to hear anything else.

The biggest thing that you got to do is admit it to you.

That's hard to do.

To be honest with yourself and say, oh, I'm going to just take full full for this because

nobody really wants to take it.

And it always is us.

It always starts to look at each other.

At least half of it.

Yeah.

It's just a full, I'm going full.

Like when I say me, full ownership on this now.

Well, it's the only thing you can control.

Stream ownership.

Yeah, that's fat.

You're ready to see my manicure.

You're going to see him in convention.

And so you got the mind.

So you got to get tapped into the right stuff.

You got to get right affirmations.

I think like you got to be thinking right in the morning.

Like you got to already.

Yeah, you got to self talk.

You got to self visualization.

Right.

Where do you see yourself?

You got to put yourself in pessimistic minds.

So that is, I'm going to pull the small stuff out.

So he said he got to see it in the morning.

Well, you can't see it in the morning

if you ain't getting up early enough

in your rush into the office.

If you're already in a rush, if you're already waking up,

oh, I'm going to hurry up.

I'm spilling stuff because I'm walking in last minute.

You don't have a moment to think.

And you know why though?

But so they understand why they're reacting all day now.

Not proactive.

Yeah.

You've got to think the night before,

which you're going to do the next day.

What time you're going to get up and walk it all away

through and 100%.

So everybody's already reacting.

They're running late.

And this is where I'm really.

Just planning their outfit that morning.

How can we be doing that?

Can't.

Now you're at a reactive state for the entire day.

And you wonder why you're not better the next day.

Like we were just talking about.

You don't got to be perfect.

You got to be just better the next day.

Yeah.

Does it make sense?

So now all right, we got our mind right.

We're around the right people.

We're plugging into the right stuff.

We're in that.

And here, this is true.

This is true as it gets.

The winter circle and the popular circle

is not the same circle.

That is not.

So you got to be really, really conscious of this

when you're saying, OK, I'm going to plug into the right people.

The popular people might not be winning.

They might be partying and doing all this.

The winter circle, you got to be selective with this.

Now we're going into methods.

So our mind is right.

We got the six inches right here.

We're thinking the right things, doing the right things.

And it's becoming.

And Mrs. Wild always say that the first thing

I check on leadership problems is the five levels

of leadership by John Maxwell.

The first thing I check on business problems in general

is my body spirit.

Are you healthy mentally?

You just said mind, method.

And I believe it's hard to be healthy mentally

if you're not doing some form of self-development,

spiritually, books, podcasts, exercise, influence

by positive people, mentorship.

All of that goes into mind.

My body spirit goes into mind.

And so then you go into method, which

is process.

Yeah.

And you're in a good place there because you're growing.

When people are stagnant in plateau, right?

That's when all the negativity happens.

Right.

Growth is the only evidence of life.

I had somebody stop me at Natalie's gallon.

Natalie's gallon with the AGD Lexus Joy and Killy Foundation.

And I had Penny Samaya ask me from Pitt.

He's great.

And my man.

Yeah.

And he asked me, man, when you

are going to slow down, man, when do you

think you're going to retire?

What's the vision?

What are you doing all this for?

I said, man, I think number one, a kid asked me in my youth

program the other day, what's your biggest fear?

I told him my biggest fear is dying

before I had a chance to use the gifts that God gave me

to make the world a better place.

I said, the second thing is, I think I'm

going to be like this till I die.

I think because to stop growing and to stop

pursuing greatness and finding a way to grow, even when

you're 70, 80, pursuing growing somehow, that's when you die.

That's why you see people that retire and die.

I would have to say it's because they

stop chasing something.

They stop growing.

They stop.

So I don't ever plan on stopping that process.

I'm addicted to that process.

And I know that a lot of other people that I surround myself

with that are planning at a high level,

thinking, feel the exact same way.

Yeah, that's true.

Because it also fulfills you too.

It's part, like you know if you're not living up

to your capability, what a waste.

Like what a waste.

We know we're not at our key.

So we've got to get in growth mode.

Growth mode is in this concept of the process that we're

talking about.

You talk, well, why do you not do that?

Why do you start talking?

Well, because you're not growing.

When you're not growing, it causes all these other issues.

But the only way to get back on growing

is to get out of your comfort zone.

Part of what you're talking about is getting out

of your comfort zone.

So now we're in growth mode.

We're trying to get in growth mode.

We're talking about the method, which is the process,

getting out of your comfort zone.

What does that look like for somebody?

Now you're getting back to exactly what we said at the beginning,

all the simple stuff, right?

You don't want to over cook it.

You got to keep it easy because if you, look,

if you set the bar too much, you're already deflated.

You're like, I'm never going to get this done.

Like you literally put an invisible carrot

in front of your own face.

That you know you're not going to hit the goal.

Realistic expectation, right?

But at the same time, doing everything the right way.

Right?

Now the money will come abundant.

So flip it, right?

Now we're going to flip it.

So now we have the money.

Somebody comes in and they're like, oh, I want nice things.

So we got the money now.

Well, no, no, say that's the process went right.

And it's abundant.

Yeah, because you're looking to make impacts.

And here's how the money has come from my experience.

Is it starts to like drip?

Out of a faucet?

And then it's like, whoa, then it starts coming.

But it's like slow.

There's a drip.

And then it's in abundance.

If you could stay in that zone of mine method, money.

Yeah.

And they're not serving the money.

Right?

So now we got people that are money driven, right?

Okay.

So what are the money driven?

We just said this.

I don't want to say greed.

But when the end game is money, it's greed.

Come on, talk to me.

So truth.

So people that are just totally driven and maybe just numbers or quotas or dollars, right?

So what are numbers?

Quotas, dollars.

What are those?

Not people.

Not people.

So now they're just never enough, right?

So but say the money takes a backward hit.

Now what do the methods do?

Now their mind is like, oh, this isn't enough.

They're not grateful.

Now we're off gratitude, which is huge.

And we didn't even add that gratitude is huge.

Now we're into shaky methods.

The most number one thing he goes to during adversity is gratitude.

He said, I got to be grateful.

That's huge.

And after 10 years from my house, they'd asked him.

He said, first thing I had to go back to was gratitude.

I was grateful.

Absolutely.

I got 10 years to coach at your house, that university.

And we had a lot of good things happening, a lot of good lives, you know, happening.

These are all the people that have went in the first round.

You know, he had footballs from all the people that went in the first round.

He said, you want your football up in my house, only ways to get in the first round.

You got footballs all over the house from the first round.

So he's like, man, I had 10 years of this sort of first thing I went to was gratitude.

There was other things, but I don't want to talk about it again.

That's right, because it all comes back when you're grateful.

So when it's just money, you can't really be grateful when you're never enough.

You're never going to be fulfilled with it, right?

So now your methods get what?

This is where you see people with like money that aren't continuing to scale.

They start to do unethical, like not good ethics, not good morals.

And now what happens when it's not happening that way, now our mind goes totally opposite.

And this is where we go.

Unethical.

Yeah.

It's really.

It's really.

It's really.

It's really.

Yeah.

Backstabbing.

Whispering.

Yeah.

They go to all the wrong people, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's easy to complain.

Yeah.

It really is.

I mean, it truly is a simple thing to do.

Sure.

You can come up with a million excuses or you can just execute.

You know, I can tell you that I've walked through the stage.

I'll admit that there was a point of my career where I couldn't say that I was not focused

on the money.

True.

Now I am, but there was a point of my career where I could think back to young early to where

I can't say that it was people process money, you know, at 22, 23 years old.

And even as I, you know, I've gotten better at it over the years, but you know, I could

say, do I like, I like the money.

You know, I would say this to trust.

I like the cars, man.

I ain't, I ain't going to lie.

Well, I like the nice stuff, but it's like a, like your championship ring, you know, you

know, it always rings in a, in a thing.

All that is a championship ring.

You don't wear it all the time.

It's just, but it symbolizes that you want, you know, something.

I like nice, some nice stuff.

I'll get those things, but I no longer, it doesn't matter to me.

I don't, I don't know how much money I make.

I make decisions on what'll grow people, what'll grow the business before I look at, well

that, you know, well, I take a big financial head.

I'm long term, you could think about that.

You know, where will be three years from today versus right now?

And I think a lot of that has to do with are you chasing the money or you chasing the,

the mindset and the, in the process and the people and all of that type of stuff.

And it'll be very difficult.

Not only is it difficult, but it's miserable when you only are seeking out the money.

Because it's miserable because number one, you'll feel like you never got enough.

Instead of being grateful for what it is that you do have, that's better than, than,

than so many other people, possibly.

Or just that we live in the United States of America, where I think we're richer than

90% of the world, even if you're in poverty here.

But, but you look at, you look at when you start to, to serve the money only then you start

to lose focus on the people.

And if your focus is, is off of the people, then you really start, you could start to get

miserable because you don't feel a sense of purpose.

It doesn't feel right when you're, when you're only serving the money.

That's why I think they say in the Bible that, you know, money is not the root of all

evil.

That's what people think it says.

But it says, the love of money is the root of all evil.

You know, I don't love money more than I love you.

You know what I mean?

I wouldn't, I wouldn't sell you out over for a dollar amount.

But I don't love money more than I love my people.

I don't love money more than I love my kids or my wife.

I like it though.

Yeah, you know.

You know, for others and, and, and, and carers and stuff, I like some of that stuff still.

You know, maybe that changes in 10 years but I don't love it.

So where I lost myself and don't care about and love people.

Right.

And to go back to it though, you didn't come from money.

So that's everybody's first motive to it.

If you didn't come from it, what else are you going to push for?

Yeah.

Right?

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the money's the thing.

You say, oh, with dollar amount.

I'm wrong because that's what everybody does.

But then when they start making an impact, then it's a different feel, right?

Switches.

No doubt.

Now you're like, that felt better to give that than to get this.

And you don't know why?

Like even the first couple of times.

Even the first couple of times.

Yeah.

You get excited to give some gifts.

Yeah, real excited.

You want to give it like two days earlier.

Yeah.

If it's a bomb gift, you know, like I can't wait for, yeah, I'm bad.

But like, and you don't, and you're like, I'm, I'm extending myself.

Like you'll think that naturally, man, and you're like, I don't know if I got it,

not this to get this right now, right?

But then you do it and you forget that.

Yeah.

And now you can't wait for the giving part.

Absolutely.

So it's the whole thing with leadership now.

And you have to do it.

And listen, it's not comfortable to do it if you didn't come from it.

Right.

Because you're afraid you're going to lose it too.

Right.

Like that's a thing, like anybody that didn't come from a, from a big like silver spoon thing,

right?

They're petrified.

They're going to lose it.

I mean, that's the biggest thing that keeps you ticking.

Yeah.

They're not, like you said, money's not the root of all evil.

But it is if you don't got money.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Like people that are doing stuff, yeah, that he shouldn't be doing.

Well, that's the love.

Because they don't have money or they don't have it.

So that's how they're going to get it.

You know, but at the same time, when you have it, you're like, that's gracious.

Start giving.

And you're like, that felt pretty good.

And now you're like, the mission changes, right?

But I don't think that's wrong when we say, oh, we started with money initially.

Because I think 99.9% of people would be lying if they didn't say that was their start.

Because you don't have it.

Starting point, we don't have it.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not like you're coming, you know, some of us grew in different environments.

Like you and I both know are a little bit of our stories.

And it's not that we had different set of eyes.

And it wasn't like eyes of dysfunction.

You know what I'm saying?

But we had different ambitions, different set.

We wanted things to change.

We didn't know how we were going to change it.

But we knew what was going to change it money.

Why don't we talk about getting out of your comfort zone?

Yeah.

I've watched you get good at things that I forced you into.

And knew you would be good at.

And I'm going to walk through my memories of those.

And you could kind of tell me how you got out of your comfort zone and turned a weakness into a strength.

You know, I think that they say a lot of most people's biggest fear is public speaking.

I forget what they say other than death or something.

It's the number one thing that people fear in America.

I remember you winning awards or coming close to winning awards.

And me hearing, yeah, Britain don't want to win it because he don't want to get up on the stage.

It waxed for over here.

And after you give a speech, man, you don't want to talk.

And I remember you being, oh man, we got to practice this before I go.

I want you to look at my notes.

Oh my God.

You got a great face.

Like Britain, you got to get up there, dog.

You have to get up there.

And going from that phase and you never were bad.

I mean, when you first started, you were pretty good at it.

And I thought you were going to be back because you were so afraid of doing it, but you weren't.

And to watch you go from being so uncomfortable, to where I'm pushing you out there,

to writing a book, leadership code,

and speaking being one of the people that helps to bring the message of the ground that we all do together.

None of us are making money on it.

We do it to serve and create an outlet to help people.

And you're on that.

You kill that.

And one of the go-to speakers in the agency to motivate people.

And I think you've turned it from a, I don't know if I call it a weakness, but a fear,

from a fear to a strength and something that you've been able to overcome.

What did you do to get over that part of things?

And the other, I'll lump it together so you can talk about them both.

The other one is, you know, I remember when you were young in this business, and me,

I could tell you, I think you went, you came with me or I was talking to you.

I think you came with me to the AAA place.

cranberry. Right? And I remember telling you man we're just going to open up an

office in South Pittsburgh just so you can run it. You're like no I got to

wait till I'm ready. I'm not ready. You know for us. I know you're ready. That's

it. We're opening it. You're going to get ready when you get in there. We're

going to figure it out because I knew that you had it in the only way to release

it as I had to get you to stretch out of your comfort zone. I knew you would

rise. So both of those times you were kind of pushed. You know like they say

the Eagles do they push the birds out of the mess. That's rough. Yeah. But you

know tell me about that experience and how you've turned both of those into

successes. That was that that's one of the defining moment. That was a defining

moment. Every speaking was a defining moment. These are defining moments because

I can remember the first ones. Right? Like they were like me too. I'm talking I'm

chugging water. I'm pacing. People that are not public speakers know exactly what

I'm talking about if we would like put them on the spot. But here's the deal. And

this is what I tell people a lot of times. I'm a recovering perfectionist. Right? So

every time that I would do that I would overplay in my head how bad I would sound. Right?

So now what did I do? What did that force me to do? I mean you you owe me like cost

is going to be prepared. Right? Always so I'm always putting in preparation. Right?

Which does help with separation. Yeah. And I was always just I didn't know if what

I would say would sound right. I would always plant this stuff. And the biggest thing

I tell people now is you got to just have imperfect action. Right? Like even when you did

this, that's the first thing. So it did go. Yeah. When I wrote that when you were doing

that, I said, you know, we're just going to just go man. We're going to go just go.

Because the best the best we're going to do is the the stuff we learn from is when we fail.

You're not going to tell me the times that you succeeded. You don't remember that as much

as the times that you failed. No doubt. Because it hurts. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

if you're doing it right, you should be your biggest critic as long as it's not unhealthy.

Yeah. Yeah. I get out of time talking and you know, I'm walking out and I talk to

Perm. I'm like seven. Yeah. Everybody else like, oh, this is great. I'm like, that was

a seven. That was on my best. And everybody has some of the value in them. Right? Like you

got your sound word. I got mine. Like how do we sound? Right? You have to because you're

always grading your whole gauge. And you know, you can again, back to do better and live

dire capability. Yeah. So for me, I'll be honest, I still get jitters when I go. Like

it's not this thing. Like this just disappeared. Yeah. Like when we run the overview, people

are like, I'll say, let me just tell you the number one thing. The reason why I most

didn't do this whole thing is because I almost had to walk on public speaking. Now they're

blown back by this. And I'm dead serious by this. But at the same time, let me tell you,

it's become a gift now because the things that you can't fix, right? I'm always going

to have that. What do you do? What do we do every time before I speak? We feature it.

Every time it works out perfect for me. They're like, oh, you know, Britain used to be

nervous, public speaking, blah, blah, blah. Right? We bring it up. It's already featured.

Yeah. Right? Or it's already like, it's out there. We let the elephant out of the room.

So what does everybody do? They're like, that was pretty damn good. Right? Because I already

let the elephant out of the room. Like, look, this isn't my strength. Yeah. I'm going

to give you what I got. Right? But yeah, I don't know if I ever fix it. So what we all, I

always feature it. Yeah. And then people are like, you bring it up. Yeah. Like this is,

like, something. Just like I bring up. I'm short. Right? Right? It's just go ahead and

get that out of the way. Let the elephant out of the room. Yeah. People are like, right?

Can't fix it. And then you just push past the uncomfortable. And just understand I'm less

uncomfortable, but I'm still uncomfortable. And we push through it anyway. How about opening

up the, you know, your own, you know, office and running everything? That was, for me,

it goes back. What do I want? Perfect situation. Perfect scenarios. No, I don't go to

the office. 100% prepared. Yeah. Yeah. And if you come into that office, you see I got

the smallest office still in South Hills. I hold the smallest office in South Hills.

Now it's a, when you come in, it's, it's got its eagle and it's got all that, you know,

around it. But the reason it was the small price per square foot right now, homes, your

price per square foot in your office. It's a shoe box. It's all, I mean, it's, it's,

laid out. But my little office people come in and they're like, the first question they

always ask, nice office, but why so small? Because I wasn't the whale, man. I was like a

little big fish. When you came in. Yeah. And people were like, you know, people come

and go, other people in the office. And they say, well, I don't you switch because I don't

want to switch because this reminds me. It's your home. This is it. Like I started. Yeah,

I'm not, and we just talked about this 10, 20 minutes ago, but I'm not getting comfortable.

Yeah. I'm not getting comfortable ever again. Right. And, and it's like, and that's the

consistent, persistent pursuit to get better constantly. And if I got to remind myself

of that all the time, because I knew like to start an office is challenging to do it in

nine months. Oh, man, you want to talk about nothing being perfect. Yeah. Massive failures,

massive phone on the face, massive doubters, right? These are the people that now through

Maddie out the same way. Yeah. Right. And it had to stay college, right? And soared. And

soared though. I mean, if you come on, yeah, and losers, lose, right?

Winners win and losers lose, man. And that's that big ego on my desk. I mean, that thing's

like soaring. I don't need another. It got a million names. Yeah. Egor. That's what they

call it. Egor. I don't know. He's got named over the years. But I mean, tell me, tell

me to give me, give me coaching a lot of people over the last few years, man. And you, you

have successful, you have successful producers that would be considered older for our agency.

You have males that are killing it. And you have some some of the agencies best females.

If we're talking numbers, yeah, we're just, you know, we're talking numbers, you know,

we're not in the best way. They are the best if you look at the numbers. So the if you,

your coach is successful females, males, you know, what would you say are some of the,

the things that stick out to you is say these qualities are shared in the people that

are rocking this thing. And these qualities are shared by the people that they have the

talent, but they never end up doing anything for whatever reason. Is there any qualities

you can pull out and say they show symptoms? Yeah. The people that we see always coming up

with the solution, put all their energy into the solution. 100%. Yeah. I mean, the decisions

are already made. Like when I say, we're not focusing on the problem. No, they're focusing

on the solutions. Yeah, they're, their belief is already there. Like people say the sky's

the limit. Your belief is the limit. Right? No doubt. So they already believe it. Decisions

already made. We say, boom, this is our expectation. Now get intentional about this. And they're

not like, well, I don't know. They're like, yeah, got it. I mean, it's just like sparta.

Like the, yeah, now flip it. The people that don't put all their energy into the problems.

Yeah, the obstacles. Oh, man, I hit a pothole, lost a tire. I want to have a car this

day. Everything, all the energy is explaining why they're not going to get a car. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Get a tire. Whatever we got. It's like you don't even know when they're

performing at like an optimal level. You don't even know they have problems until after

when they're telling us about it, right? Yeah. They don't even tell us about it because

they know it's going to do nothing. They put all the energy in the solution. Like I was

severely offended. I didn't know you didn't tell me a grandmother passed away. Yeah.

But you never told me, you know what I mean? This is the example you're giving right now.

You just don't even talk about it. Focus on it. You just keep it pushing. Two things about

that. And a lot of times the book, to be honest with you, stemmed from her. There's a part

I put in the book is that she always made us read for 30 minutes before we would go out.

So I say she always made us do the, do the hard stuff first, right? And I didn't want to

do it. You know, you look for again, every reason not to do it. But she said, listen,

you're going to get a healthy mind, right? Timers on, you're going to read 30 minutes.

And we were talking and I was kidding around and I said, well, maybe I'll just write a book

and she's a great challenger, right? Well, I don't know if you know how to write, but

in a loving way, challenging. Once you stretch you to be great because her capabilities are

always really high. So I was like, well, maybe I will, right? So that's why it was so quick,

man. It was rapid quick. And I said, I called her back the next day. So I'm going to do it.

And the second chapter, she challenges. Well, here's the deal, man. And I'm this is.

That's what we got to do for people. Right. You know, I think that, you know, I talk a lot

about the best coaches, the people I could think of that made the best impact in my life have been

people that have challenged me. Even as a man, you know, outside of business, you know,

challenge you as a man. What are you doing with your personal life? What are you doing? How you

treating your wife? How you treating your girl? How you, people that will challenge you? Ask

you the questions and check you on stuff that nobody else would check you on. Those are the people

that grow you. And I think that's what some young leaders struggle with. You know, the first thing your

grandmother had with you outside of position of a grandmother is she had permission. You know,

the five levels of leadership. You knew she cared about you. You gave her permission. And,

and all the five levels, you know, so I think the first thing we got to shoot for is

the five levels with somebody that you're trying to lead. But as a coach, I don't think you're

going to be able to, for you to do some of the things you've been doing right now, I'm catching fire,

you're not going to be able to, and I'm going to just throw it out there. This makes you

uncomfortable too. And just like everything else, I don't give a shit. So the first quarter, he gets

just a growth bonus of for what he runs for his agency that he's an entrepreneur runs his own

deal. He gets a hundred thousand plus six finger just a growth bonus, not his bonus, not his check,

not none. And you hear it's not about the money because he's talking about the people. And it's

really how he lives. But you've been able to stretch your people. Your people have been able to do

probably double of what most people would be able to do if we're talking man, you know, they say

pound for pound. You know, this man is, this woman is, I mean, if pound for pound a normal person

would do, you know, one 50 on the bench, you got your team doing 300. So they're stronger pound for

pound. And I think in order to be stronger, pound for pound, you got to be pushing people

during some workouts or challenging their mind or challenging those people. And I think this is where

a lot of young people are leaders or whatever struggle to, I think the biggest thing that I

hate to see here's here's what I struggle seeing is when you've been blessed with with talented people.

And you don't do anything that you don't, you let that person just be good and you don't take that

person to great. And I think only great coaches can take a good from person from good to great.

And the only way to go from good to great is if somebody pushes you or challenge you or stretches you

at some point. And people struggle with that. How are you able to stretch them and challenge them

and push if you will say them to go at the next level? You know, because my first call to you

after you, you had a great quarter, a great month, is you're like, oh, we just, that's just

the neck. We're going to do it again. You know, mindset was already, we're already, we're going

to do it again. So it wasn't just, yeah, everybody, we're going to relax. It was like, no, we're

about to do it again. You can do that. Let's see, you know, but I think you're doing it. And other

people can't, how are you able to keep that high level of play, which is what I've liked to,

I asked, Tresswell, how do you go from playing, you play Michigan State, you play Penn State,

you play it Wisconsin, now you're going to Michigan. So how do you keep everybody up, boom,

boom, boom, two away games, you can stand up. How do you keep the level of play up?

All right. So now it's on who, the coaches, right? Because you could say, and you know me,

I don't really like to drop the, like you had a text me, hey, did they drop the check in your bank

account? And I'm like, oh, just look, not a fact they did. So here's, this is, this is like,

this is true. Like these games would probably be like, they can't believe this has happened.

I was coming home from St. Louis and to, that, to like the tightest people to me in this business,

like Eric and Tim, you know, like they're just like family to me, right? Yeah.

This is real as it gets, man. This is as real as these cameras can catch.

I was driving home from the airport and they said, they call me Pat. It's just like a

funny little jab, I guess, because I'm getting older, but they said, Pat, do you get that check?

And I said, yeah, I got, I got the check, right? Because you know, I'm not really, you know,

putting it out there like they gave me a stop. Well, you didn't want your wife to know.

No, she knows. She knows. And she's out to bed. Yeah, yeah, right. And she's, thank God,

she's not that type of person, right? You know what I'm saying?

No, I'm just saying, well, here's the deal. This is real as it gets, man. This is real as it gets.

I broke down on the ride home from the airport, man. Dead serious. Like to the point where Tim said,

dude, it's all right. Yeah. And I'm like, I got, like I'm trying to hold it together.

This is what I'm trying to, I'm trying to hold it together. Yeah. And I couldn't, in terms of

doing breathe, and he's like, we, we'll have to be happy. Good. And listen, I'm like, listen,

I don't know if I deserve it. So that means we're going not much harder now.

I don't know if I gave you enough. So I mean, it was like this, I couldn't get it together for

like five minutes, man. Like to the point where I honestly, you know what else that is. I want to

speak for you, but I can, let me think what I think causes some of those emotions outside of

gratitude is when you see somebody as much of a dog as killer instinct like Michael Jordan.

And you watch him win an NBA title and you'll see the old videos of him holding his trophy crying.

It's, it's the amount of work that nobody saw. It's the amount of, of, of dark nights and dark

mornings that you've put in a year ago. It's the adversity that you've been through. It's the

mind games that you won that you could have lost. And you come back and you find a way to win. It's

it's not the check. It wasn't the money. It was, it was, it was, what it symbolized.

What that, that was just the check symbolized for you. Here's the things we've overcome. Here's

what I, and you only get that type of check is if you serve a lot of other people. The only way you

do that is if your people are making good money. You know, those two that you're talking about

are doing quite well for their age. You know, it's together. And so, well, that, that's why you get

that because they got that. You get that. And that probably plays a role in the emotion.

What you, you've been able to lead other people to win a championship too and know that you were

the quarterback. So it's one thing to say and get emotional, right?

So that night, this is like 100% authentic.

I went back and I told them, listen,

I'll give you more than I've ever given you,

the next four months from right now,

like the next four months of what we do,

is already mapped up on the how.

You know what I mean?

What we're gonna see, how?

This is already coming because the greats,

no problem has come in probably 60, 30 days out.

The people that aren't really like,

they're like, oh, I didn't see this coming.

We're not great yet.

You gotta learn that you gotta get a little bit more

self-awareness, everybody will say self-awareness is huge.

Four months out, they could come in and just go,

every day, and we're gonna talk about a different topic,

a different time, and how,

an absolutely everything that we do.

And I take massive,

right now, now, having the how.

How massive, massive, massive ownership on that.

Let me, let me, let's close with this.

Sure.

I think it's hard for, I don't wanna say,

a man, but a woman or a man, you know, to be great

without the support of a spouse,

if you're going to have one.

And so, we've seen people in this business

who have had support,

and we've seen some people in this business

who have not had support.

And, you know, I talked about this before.

For you, I remember plugging,

I plugged Val's name with your last name

into it for years.

Well, it costs me.

And, yeah, she's been in there.

So did she.

And I just, for,

I just have always thought so highly of her, man.

And for my dudes, you know, there's nothing,

I know it's probably the biggest decision

that a man can make or a woman can make.

And when I see somebody like that,

as I've done for some of my friends,

I haven't done that for everybody.

You know, I think some of you guys think,

man, Simon just tries to marry everybody off.

Or, you know, I'm not pushing everybody.

I don't say anything negative, you know what I mean?

But there's some cast that are getting married

or having gotten married.

And I just, I'm there for them to give my card,

you know, but there's some that I'm like,

oh, man, you gotta, you gotta,

this needs to be who, who, who,

in my humble opinion, this is who we got a role with, man.

And she was one of them.

And that I was like that with.

And I think that has a lot to do with the success

of a person.

Sure.

Is the person that they choose,

are you gonna be on their side

or are you gonna be on their back?

And one of the things that I've learned from,

I'm not putting the name out until I get permission.

Sure.

But it was another big coach.

And I heard him say, because I was asking,

well, you know, to play in a big conference,

you have to watch film, you got a game Saturday,

you're flying around, you're working Sundays,

during the season, you're watching film,

you're doing all this, then you're recruiting,

and you're on the road.

And, you know, Steve Del said,

Dave, once that came to meet with his mom,

and that's how he got recruited.

Well, Dave had to be over 50 years old

and probably been doing this for 30 years.

Still in the process.

Away from his family, sitting with Steve Del somewhere.

And so that's what people miss.

And so what this specific coach told me is,

if that becomes a problem,

if there's nothing that really can change

too much about this job, you know,

that this is what coaching is,

then either you got the wrong job

or you got the wrong wife.

And he said, I don't know which one it is.

It doesn't mean that you have the wrong wife.

You can have the right wife.

But for your life, you may have the wrong job

because it doesn't vibe with what your values are

and where they're going.

And so you have to decide which one of those that you have,

is it the wrong job or what's to deal.

But I know for me, I couldn't do it, you know, without,

you know, I wouldn't have been able to do,

I wouldn't have been able to do the things

that we've been able to do if I didn't have somebody

backing me up and not riding my back

in the pursuit of pursuing other people

in the midst of having, you know,

your own family and serving others.

What do you have to say about how important

do you think it is to have support?

Any topic around the word support

from a husband or wife or spouse or significant other?

That's huge.

That's huge.

And listen, a lot of people see Val

and they're like, oh man, you know,

Val's an attractive girl.

But what makes Val super rich?

It's more attractive inside.

Yeah, that's what makes her rich.

She is.

Like I want, it's like the best thing that could have happened

to me is to go through adversity

and watch her not even bend.

Flint.

Like didn't even bend.

Like I could care less.

And then she would be the one like,

well, maybe we shouldn't get the cure egg.

And I'm like, what's a little adversity?

It's not like we can get the cure.

We can get the cure.

But now she's like proactive with it.

Like not, you know, here's the thing.

And I'll tell you what I told her.

Now I just said to it, when we win this year,

so when, throughout time everyone has said

behind every great man is a great woman.

I said, I'm not saying that.

It's beside every great man is a great woman.

And you'll stand beside me when we do this, this time.

And we never do it, right?

It's always there.

And I said, because you've been beside me

for like, it's seven years.

I mean, time is so fast, you won't even realize

if you're going through it, they're going through it.

No doubt.

And you forget that, right?

And you don't forget that.

Now that I have a son and the game changes,

you have two children, now game changes.

Now they step up to another level, right?

So for us to even do this, right?

The kids gotta be somewhere, right?

Kids gotta be somewhere, they end up-

That's a 24-hour job.

24-7.

There's no clock in, clock out on that.

Nothing, sick, no sick days, no vacation

and no money, no money.

You don't get paid for it.

Nothing, that's all good, healthy mindset.

Yes, yes.

But that's it.

And that's the thing, it's just like,

do we always agree?

No, nobody always agrees.

If they tell you that, something's wrong.

That's our flag.

Because you should disagree.

That's what betters you in balances you.

No doubt.

But yeah, her support has, she has supported anything

as long as it's the right thing.

She'll also say, hey, I don't think that's a wise decision.

She'll give suggestions, right?

But she's a guiding rock.

You have a guiding rock.

A lot of us have that.

I want to close on your thoughts on this, man.

Not my thoughts.

It's hard for me to not say my thoughts, right?

But I want you to tell me what your thoughts are.

When it comes down to building a business,

there are certain things that have to happen

in order to build a business.

There's a certain amount of hours

that are required to build a business.

At times, they change.

Sometimes what it requires to build a business

maybe, work in weekends,

and other times you don't have to.

And sometimes you may need to close the store

other times you don't have to.

From afar, watching others win and be successful.

And I have friends that I would say are successful

in business and as parents

and the way their children have come up,

the friend that they are.

And when I'm thinking of some of these people,

restaurant owners, coaches, people that own businesses,

the ones that have success all in company,

they're still working.

I think of a trestle man.

I mean, he's still growing.

You don't have to.

When I think of Jimmy Wan or Lisa,

who owns the restaurants around here, the nice restaurant,

Lisa's on her second restaurant.

She looks like she's 30, but she's in her 50s.

She, Friday night, I know where to find her.

You know what I mean?

She's at the steakhouse, she just opened up.

She's at Napa Prime or she's at the seafood place.

Jimmy Wan, on a Saturday, I know where to find them.

And so when I see Dilya's wife,

I'm hugging her or thanking her and I'm telling her,

you're a beast.

Because Saturday, I know in that industry,

he got to be there.

But everybody just sees Jimmy Wan.

Man, it's great.

You give to people, you donate this and you sushi

and Lisa, you're great.

You pray for people and you do all this stuff.

This is a main.

What people don't see is what it takes

in the sacrifices that it takes

and the amount of hours that go into creating a bit.

And it's a vision and a business

and being responsible for other people's lives.

Trust told me about a time where kids would just call them.

He got 100 kids on a football team.

People would call them in a weekend.

People would say, man, I can't believe

your answer in this call.

And he's like, well, if this was your kid,

wouldn't you answer the call?

That's why I love so many players.

It's Friday night, I'm answered the call.

Saturday, I'm answered the call.

Because I chose to serve these people.

Now at the same time, you gotta have some balance.

You gotta do some other things

with take care of your responsibilities.

And you should focus on the family and be in a father

and all that is a priority.

What does it take from a support standpoint?

How do you have to look at it from a mindset

and support standpoint of a spouse

or of the builder, no matter what is going on,

whether it's a restaurant, this business

or something else, the building process

and really just a success process of the hours

and the sacrifices that are required.

What are your thoughts?

Man, they all know how to calculate the right math, right?

They all know how to calculate the right math.

When I say that, future decisions

or current decisions of future cost, right?

Think about that.

PVFC.

Right, man, think about that.

Current decisions of future cost.

That's the best math you can calculate.

So if you start making decisions that are already-

C-A-C.

Right, I mean, you're in trouble.

You're in trouble.

You're coasting, what direction does that go?

And everybody that's there, everybody that you mentioned,

probably, I don't know them all personally,

but they probably came from somewhere

they don't want to go back to.

They've experienced.

Yeah, it's a great experience.

It's a great experience.

And they know there's always going to be a last time, right?

There's always going to be a last time

you close to-

You hang them up. There's always going to be a last time,

you know, you kiss your spouse goodbye.

There's always going to be a last time you run a meeting.

There's always going to be a last time we do this.

No doubt.

Always, right?

So you always go with everything you've got

and you know what your responsibility, right,

at that point, especially owners, we're talking leaders,

we're talking people that are stepped in

and walked in their destiny, man.

Like, we're talking people that now-

How do you handle the hours as a spouse though?

It's all nice.

But-

Balance.

And sometimes balance is less.

That's where people mess up.

They think, oh man, we got to go do this together,

we got to do this.

Sometimes balance is less, man.

It's like if you're told me.

I think when people hear balance,

where they make a mistake, is there's 168 hours in a week.

Yeah.

If you got a sleep for 50 of them,

you got 118 hours in a week, 120 hours left.

It's impossible to do this for 40 hours,

this for 40 hours, this for 40 hours,

in balance, everything.

You may not be able to spend 60 hours at home.

You may not be just like,

I don't expect she couldn't spend 80 hours a week

working in 100 hours a week and be a mom

and take care of the kids and all these other things.

It's impossible to me to be home for 100 hours a week

and still make all of that go round.

But we still got to find a way to make an impact.

So what are your thoughts on somebody that's new?

In any growth phase, how do you navigate that?

First thing you gotta do is-

Because you can't do it in 40 hours.

When you figure out a way to do it in 30,

now you can't after like we've built it,

I'm pretty sure you ain't hitting the streets this weekend

and I'm pretty sure Friday,

you just nothing for you to do past two o'clock.

So Friday at two, you'll be home till Monday.

I don't think you'll be knocking doors.

Maybe you'll take calls and plan the spots that go into-

You're right, sure.

And you're still zoned in, walking.

Right, right, always.

To get to that process and ain't that way.

And so how do you navigate through that?

With the spouse.

The first thing people gotta do is clear expectation.

Like nobody wants to tell them what's required.

I just wanna tell them what's gonna happen

with the end game is.

We're gonna have this, we're gonna have this,

we're gonna have this, but they forget the whole

what we gotta do to get this, this, this, this, this,

and there's a sacrifice, right?

And like that's the biggest thing man

and you know this, come on.

You're sacrificing your time

and leadership, you're sacrificing your knowledge,

you're adding value to people,

you're sacrificing investments and financial, right?

You're sacrificing everything.

But at the same time, you can't sacrifice the facts.

Like there has to be a clear expectation.

Cause if somebody comes up to you in the middle

and you're right about to get there,

even if you get there, they're gonna be pissed.

They're gonna have this thing in the back of the head

that yeah, well the kids are five years old now.

Money isn't, you know what I'm saying?

Now it's like, well I wanted to say this,

and then they're like, okay,

well what's motivation, motive, right?

So cars, jewelry, all that, really when you have family

it's not like, not really the thing.

It's inspiration that gets people gone, right?

What's that root word for inspire in spirit, right?

So the spirit for these, for our spouses

is like beautiful family.

They're things of change.

They wanna have healthy kids,

they wanna have kids educating.

I mean, even when you watch kid walk,

like we're waiting for our son to talk,

it's gonna be a big monumental moment.

I got my fingers crossed, you're gonna say my name.

Once I walk and this is a wrap.

Yeah, it's game over.

But there's clear expectations.

Like we know when we don't want, you know,

things are gonna have to,

maybe vow has to be around a little more.

Maybe I have to be around a little more, right?

And that has to happen.

But if you don't have that

and all you do is talk about the fancy stuff,

it's not gonna be fancy when you get there

because there's gonna be a lot of regret,

a lot of things you're gonna be reminded

that you might miss, right?

There's gonna be build up animosity

because you never wanna talk about it.

Do you know what I'm saying?

So it's gotta be.

You still haven't told me how, you do it.

Well just clear.

I mean you talk.

So we're talking, right?

So let's communicate.

You're gonna build a business.

You're in the process.

It's gonna take you know, 70 hours a week.

60 hours a week.

Yeah.

Now what?

Well that's what you gotta communicate.

So you communicate what?

What do you say?

With your spouse.

To the spouse.

I mean that, again, I mean,

this has gotta be clear expectation.

The hours are expected.

The hours I'm gonna be.

the things I'm not gonna miss, the things that I might miss.

Communication.

A green.

A green.

Bringing it up.

Give it, remember, you gotta give too.

No doubt.

You gotta give, it can't be just like,

I'm gonna miss this, this, this, this, this.

No doubt.

No doubt.

There's two types of people that I've had to coach.

There's people that don't wanna make any sacrifices.

Okay.

And then there's people that make too many sacrifices.

Yeah, right, that's great.

I mean, the best ones usually make too many sacrifices.

To where I'm like, bro, you've got to start spending

more time with your spouse.

I need you to start planning a date night.

I need you to start.

Go on.

Sure, sure, sure.

I need you to go see your mom, though.

Yeah, yeah.

You're okay.

You don't have to work this week, do you?

Go see her for a couple of days.

The other ones, let's call them the other ones.

Those are the ones that I haven't seen a lot of success

from the ones that I'm like, do you gotta stop?

Yeah.

You gotta make some sacrifices.

So, I think, you know, for me and my experience

of this stuff, what you've said is,

we're gonna lay out the expectations.

So, this is what we want as a family.

This is what we want to accomplish.

These are the schools we want our kids

to be able to go to.

This is what we want life to look like five years from today.

Not just today, the decisions we need to make today,

but this is where we wanna be five years from today.

This is what we wanna be able to do five years from today

for our kid, that's five years old.

And so, here's what I think it will require

in order for us to be in a position

to do these things five years from today.

And are we on the same page with, can we do this?

And what do you need out of me?

What do I need out of myself?

It ain't just the spouse, it's for the person.

You know, I know I need a certain amount of time.

I miss my kids after a couple of days.

You know, if I'm on a business trip from traveling

after a couple, I'm the one who's like,

I can't wait to, nobody gotta pull me.

You know, it's like, where are you at?

I'm pulling myself.

But I'm writing down, you know, or I'm thinking through,

if I'm in the phase, like, we don't have to write it down now

because we already, we already done this, man.

That's right.

I know where that's at with me and Matt.

But in the beginning stages of building something,

there's sacrifices that need to be made.

And so, we're gonna agree on those sacrifices of okay,

we need to do this as a couple.

This is what I need out of you.

This is how many days I need you to do this.

These are the hours that I need you to be able to do this.

And if we do this, this, this, and this,

your family is healthy.

I'm healthy over here if you can do this.

And I think where most people fail is they think

that it has to be completely one or the other

and it doesn't.

It's usually a mismanagement of time

and a lack of writing it down.

A focus of, I'm focusing more,

I would put more time into what I'm eating this week

than what I am going to do with my time this week.

So there's 168 hours.

If you sleep for 50 of those hours, there's 118 hours left.

In the beginning phases of building a business

or coaching or what I don't think you can do it

in 30 hours.

In the beginning stages.

The great thing about entrepreneurship

is the down the road stages is that 30, 40 hard hours

should be more than enough to get the job done

if you're efficient and that's the reward.

Fishing down the road.

The efficient.

That's a big one.

So they have to look and say, okay,

I'm going to put in 70 hours.

Yeah.

And how am I going to use those 70 hours?

I'm going to write them down specifically

so I'm wasting no minutes, no hours, no moments.

And I write them down.

Well, I slept for 50, I worked for 70, there's 120.

I got 48 hours left.

I already slept.

That's a lot.

I already worked.

Grind it.

I got 48 hours with.

Now if you're focusing on those 48 hours,

I mean, if I'm with Nat for eight hours a day,

six days a week, she's like, get him out of here.

I'm good.

You know what I mean?

That's plenty.

You know what I mean?

There's plenty of time to do it both.

As what I'm saying, there's people like,

man, how do you do it?

My daughter came home yesterday after being,

she was in Dallas for a couple of days for a modeling thing.

We had some other things going on.

We couldn't go.

So she comes back with my nanny and my mother-in-law.

Last night, she was glued to my hip.

I mean, she couldn't leave my side.

And it was glued to me in the bed.

I mean, just glued to me.

And not only the feeling, but I feel like if they say,

it's not about the people that don't know you what grade they give you.

It's the people that do know you what grade would they give you.

And I speak them from my own experiences.

I feel like my wife would give me an A or a B,

depending on the week.

I don't think I'd get any Cs.

As a whole.

I think my daughter and my kids would give me an A or a B.

I think Sienna would give me an A.

My daughter would give me an A, I think.

My son would give me a B plus.

I think my mom, the people that, I feel like, but I'm still grinded.

You know, it's I'm up grinded.

I'm putting in the work.

Last night I was at dinner till 9 o'clock.

I got my own three kids and in a wife.

I'm at dinner with with Tristan and his mom till 9, 30, 10 o'clock.

I was up at this office at 6 o'clock in the morning.

Well, that's what it takes.

That's what it takes.

They're in an option.

It's not a, not if we want to go to a level where we talk about going.

You don't get to do that.

But, but you can still find a way to do these things.

If you plan them, schedule them, communicate them.

But what I have found is that there is no way to go to where you want to go

unless you're willing to make some sacrifices and some of those sacrifices or time.

But what I tell people, you know, even, you know, Perm sitting in here.

Anytime there's a question of, you know, what should I do, man?

I got this from my daughter.

I got, I'm 100% of the time is go be there.

I don't think I'm even 99.

Anytime anybody asks me, should I be at my son's game?

Should I be anything major important?

There's no question, no brainer.

This is what I want you to do.

But if it's, do I have to be at this T-Ball practice every single day?

Or is it, do I have to make some, there is some small sacrifices that have to be made and

that will be required as the coach of a football team, the coach of a business, the business

owner.

You think Jimmy Wanda want to be home with his family at 10 o'clock a night on Friday?

You think you don't want to be home Saturday night?

At seven o'clock?

Well, well, he wants the kids to be this way.

And when I see Jimmy, I see the kids running up to him and they love him.

When I see him and his wife, they're on the same page.

So I think what I was taught early on, of why I was afraid of some of these things, I

think people are taught that the only way to have success is to sacrifice everything and

lose it all.

So either you're a pig, horrible person in husband, and dad, and you win, or you lose, but

you get to be great in all these other areas.

And it's not that way.

It's not that way.

Titi Jake says you got to hold them all, all these balls, family, business, that you got

a juggle handle, but you can't hold one, two damn long.

If I'm holding too long over here, I'm going to drop the ball over here.

If I'm holding too long over here, I'm going to drop the ball over here.

And so you got to be able to make sure you're not holding the wrong balls too long.

You can't drop any of them, but the key to it in my humble opinion of studying greatness

of others.

And I've studied people great in business and at home, and at home.

I mean, I could give you a list full of people, great mother, great husband, but rock to

business and grind.

People don't, I don't think people understand that yes, they're sacrifices that need to

be made.

Yes, there is a grind that needs to happen.

There's a lot of hours that are required, but you could still win over here to the things

that are truly most important.

You can win in all of these areas if you're efficient, if you write things down, if you plan,

if you're not wasteful, and you plan the week out.

So, if we can encourage people out there that is possible, I know it's possible.

So in closing, thank you for being on the grind cast.

Thank you for everything that you do for this great company that we're a part of.

Thank you for being an example and an inspiration to so many other people.

I want to encourage you guys out there to grab the book.

Our leadership school's coming up in Las Vegas.

I got everybody a copy of the leadership code downstairs.

Everybody's getting one.

Can't wait for everybody to get one.

I started to dig into it.

I didn't get a chance to finish it.

It's not a hard read.

It's not a thick book.

But if you're out there looking for a good read, dig into the leadership code by my man,

Britton Costa.

Thanks for joining us.

Count Muddy, man.

I'm Stag Gritz.

I'm trying to talk to my beast blood.