The Grind-Cast “Urban Meyer’s Above The Line”

Count money, man.

Money that grits is fine.

I told him, I'm a beast, but...

What's up, gang?

Welcome to the broadcast.

Stop it, there he is.

Get ready to do the new day.

All right, what's up, gang?

We're going to go into today's podcast, and we're going to talk about...

I'm going to go over the book.

Some of my notes that stuck out in Urban Myers book above the line.

Above the line.

So I got my phone with a couple notes, and I'm going to go over what he went over that

are actions that are above the line, and what are actions that are below the line.

So here was the above the line actions.

Above the line, intentional on purpose, skillful, below the line, impulsive on autopilot,

and resisted.

So, let me give you what that means to me.

Being intentional on purpose and skillful above the line.

If I'm intentional about something, I'm waking up with a purpose this morning.

I know what my schedule is.

I know what time I need to be there.

I have a game plan in order to get there.

I have a game plan on how my day's going to go.

Everything that I'm doing is on purpose.

Nothing is on accident.

I already got a plan.

And then skillful in the way that I'm learning to master the basics, going through practice,

trying to do the best that I possibly can.

All of those efforts are above the line.

Below the line, below the line, impulsive on autopilot and resisted.

So impulsive.

Somebody cut you off in traffic.

You're freaking out, ready to go behind bars for one year because somebody cut you off

in traffic.

That's impulsive.

You make a bad decision this fast.

You make decisions this fast that can negatively affect next year.

And so you start doing something wrong as a student athlete and it costs you to be suspended

the following season.

Those are things that are impulsive, resisted, resisted to change, resisted to a new position

that may better be better for you and better for the team.

To your coach, coaching you.

So your coach is trying to coach you and give you guidance.

I know from this book, it's not written down here, but BCD.

This is one of my big ones.

Please hear this one.

You can't be great if you BCD.

You can't be great.

Not CBD.

Not the new thing is CBD oil.

BCD.

No blaming.

Complaining or defending.

Many excuses.

If you didn't get the job done and I'm blaming, I'm saying, well, this person never told me

I was supposed to do this.

It wasn't my fault.

It was your fault.

What about the way that you talked to me?

What about the way, or I start complaining with somebody's coach of me.

Now all of a sudden I start complaining.

Well, if this was better, or man, I got up late this morning and I'm tired and man, it

coaches all my nerves.

So you start complaining below the line.

Not habit of a winner.

Blaming.

Not a habit of a winner.

Defending.

Yeah, but defending myself instead of saying, yep, got you.

I understand coach.

Got it.

Got it.

Stand above the line.

Be an open-minded, being open to constructive criticism, being humble enough to take coaching

and criticism and being able to turn it around and practice and get better, being on

time.

Well, I wasn't on time because BCD.

I wasn't on time because there was a bus that was in front of me.

Well, we should have left early.

See, the bus that's defending, blaming, not taking responsibility for your actions.

And so the closer you get to being above the line and staying away from BCD, the better

that you're going to be.

What goes hand in hand in this is where they started to talk about E plus R equals O.

Event plus response equals your outcome.

So I know if you're anything like me, you've had things in your life that have happened

that you look back on.

You say, man, I wish I didn't respond this way.

I did not respond the right way.

So it costed me because whatever the event is, you can't change.

The event out of your control, traffic, somebody bumps, fender bender.

You've got to code somebody quit.

Things that you can't control in the moment, the event, whatever happened.

The thing that's going to determine your outcome is your response, the E, most of the time

you can't control.

The events all the time you can't control.

But the way that you respond is going to determine if you end up a champion or a chump.

The way that you respond dictates your outcome.

The good news is E plus R, the response equals your outcome.

You are only in control in the way that you respond.

Are you going to respond with humility, patience, love, focus, being intentional on fire, keeping

your head up, positive attitude, or this event happens, you respond quick, temper, short,

making bad decisions, getting stressed out, saying things you don't meet, things that

will give you the outcome that's not exactly what it is that you're looking for.

So we had six R factor disciplines that they teach to their players.

Six, one, press pause.

Pressing pause gives you time to think.

Get you off of auto pilot, which is something that we missed in the BCD, in the below the

line part of the deal.

Focusing on auto pilot means, well, I'm comfortable.

I'm already a starter, already got this position, I'm not going to work as hard.

Already got this promotion, I feel comfortable doing pretty good.

Let's just kick this thing on auto pilot.

This world don't have a lot of room for people in neutral.

This world really only has room to either go forward or backwards.

So if you're somebody that's on auto pilot, nothing good is usually going to happen.

So we have to be pushing forward.

And so as we start to push forward, you look at this and say, all right, here's something

that happens.

Press pause so you can work on your response.

You don't make a quick, bad decision.

Number two, get your mind right.

What you focus on.

The way that you talk to yourself.

The way that you talk to yourself.

Self talk in your head.

I don't feel good.

I'm too small.

I'm too big.

I'm not pretty enough.

I'm too tired.

I'm sick.

I'm this.

The company that.

All the self talk.

All the things you as opposed to building yourself up, people start to tear themselves down.

So you got to get your mind right.

You can't make the right decisions.

You can't live the right life without having your mind right.

Everything comes from your mindset.

I think was it Confucius that said, whether you say you can, the man that says he can,

and the man that says he can, is usually right.

Whoever says they can, probably right, whoever says they can, they're probably right, if they

believe in it.

And so I want you guys to focus on what we need to do is we have to go ahead and get our

mind right.

Our productive mindset versus a negative mindset.

Do you have an irritated mindset or a survival mindset which is below the line or a purpose

mindset which is above the line?

After we get our mind right, third step, step up.

Understand the situation.

Understand what is required of you and respond above the line.

Step up to the plate.

Make the plate in.

Don't be scared.

Don't be timid.

Once you got your mind right, once you got these other things done, step up and make

a play.

Step up and find a way to get the job done.

Number four, adjust and adapt.

Consider your current path of your R factor habits, your response.

Where are they taking you?

Where has your response taken you so far?

Where do you want your response to take you?

Where do I need to adjust?

Where do I need to make adjustments with my R with my response?

Next one is making a difference.

Making a difference.

Take complete ownership.

Can't win if you don't take ownership.

It's my fault.

What can I have done better?

How can I do this better?

It's all on me.

There ain't no bad teams.

Bad leadership.

Take complete ownership of the experience that you give others in your contribution to

the team's culture.

How are you contributing to your team's culture right now?

Are you being negative?

Are you adding value?

Are you taking value?

Number six, build skill.

Elite performers build skill above their talents.

Talent is a gift.

Greatness is a choice.

So the worst thing to see is people that have this gift, this talent that they don't develop.

This talent that they don't want to put effort into developing that skill set because it

takes time.

It takes sacrifices.

It takes positive self-talk.

Building a culture was one of the other things I had written down.

Building a culture was a three-part process and what Erbemire was talking about.

The three parts, believe it, sell it, demand it.

Believe in division first.

In order to create the culture, you have to have belief yourself.

I got this question earlier today developing people about getting people to perform at

a higher level.

I believe in these people so much that you start to make them believe in themselves.

Sometimes people can't believe in themselves yet.

You have to believe in them and show them how to do it.

If you're going to build the right culture, you've got to believe in that culture.

You've got to believe in that mission.

You've got to believe that we can do what it is that we're trying and that we're setting

out to do than the next thing is to sell it.

We have to articulate that that we believe into our people.

We have to articulate this culture we want to have and sell it to everybody else.

Once we believe it, once we sell it, now we have to hold people accountable to it.

You have to demand it.

We're going to work hard.

We'll demand people working hard.

We're going to have a positive attitude.

We'll demand people to have a positive attitude.

We're going to play discipline, demand people to play discipline or to be disciplined.

We have to first believe it.

Second thing we've got to sell it.

Third thing is we've got to go ahead and demand it.

Culture creates your behavior.

Leaders are what create the culture.

If the leaders create the culture and the culture dictates the behavior and the behavior dictates

the results, what do you need to do as a leader?

You have to go ahead and develop that culture.

Culture, that's going to go ahead and develop everybody else's behavior based on what the

culture is.

That behavior is going to dictate those results.

Leadership starts with you being able to develop the right culture.

Leaders are going to create the right culture.

Part of creating the right culture means you're not always going to be...

You can't always tell people exactly what they want to hear.

You've got to be able to tell people what they need to hear at a rate that they can

accept it.

I think I heard John Maxwell say that before.

You have to be able to tell people what it is that they need to hear at a rate that

they're able to handle it.

You can't kill them all at one time.

Timing is everything.

There's times I have a rough conversation.

I got something planned for somebody, but I look at the way their days going and I'm

like, timing's bad.

They might not be able to handle what it is they need to hear right now because it's

too much for this day.

You have to have the timing.

You're going to be able...

You're going to have to hold people accountable to a culture in order to get to where you want

to be.

That means you're going to have to tell people things they don't want to hear.

If you're going to tell people things they don't want to hear, the first thing that they're

going to be thinking of does this man, does this woman care about me?

Have you shown these people that you care about them?

Has your attitude reflected that you care about these people?

Do they know that you care about...

Have you invested into the relationships with these people?

The more that you invest, the more deposits that you make into a person's life, the more

with draws you're going to be able to make.

In order to go to the next level, you're going to have to keep people's habits and focus

above the line.

That means you're going to have to tell them when their shit is below the line.

This is not good.

This is not cool.

This cannot happen.

This is the effort that we need.

Those are deposits.

Or excuse me, those are with draws.

Those are things that you're going to say to people they're not going to like.

There's things you're going to have to get people to do that they don't want to do.

You're going to have to make consistent withdraws from people in order to take them to the

next level.

The only way to withdraw is to have deposits in there.

Like if you don't have enough money in the bank, if I got $1,000 in the bank and I try

to withdraw $2,000, the money ain't in there, it ain't coming out.

Or we're going to bank it up myself.

I'm going to start bouncing checks.

If I want to get a person to go to...

the next level, I have to push them, challenge them, challenge their thinking, challenge their

actions. The only way they're going to allow me to do that is if I have enough money in

the account, that means I can make a withdrawal even if I'm right in their own. When I jump

on them, or if I deliver it rough, I'm taking a withdrawal, even if I'm right. If you want

to be able to make big withdrawals, big withdrawals is how you have big wins. If you're

going to have big wins, you have to make big withdrawal. You have to be able to challenge

people. The only way to do that is to ask yourself am I making enough deposits. The higher

level that I need a leader to play, at least in the development phase, the more I'm going

to need to constructively criticize them, give them feedback, jump on them sometimes, challenge

them sometimes. The only way I'm going to be able to allow that process to happen, if

they're going to allow me to make that process happen, is if I'm constantly depositing things

into their life, serving these people, spending time with these people. It's easy to be fair,

it's hard to appear to be fair. Nobody thinks that you're being fair most of the time

when you do something that, man, I got to take a step back. You have to have a temporary

contract adjustment. You have to sit out this drive. You're not the starter. It doesn't

seem fair. It's easy to be fair and make these right and the said, but it's hard to appear

to be fair. We have to appear that we're being fair by hearing them out, being open to

your team to allow them to listen and talk to you. It doesn't mean everything they say.

Sometimes people think, well, if the coach listens to me, it means he has to execute

you. I'll tell them to do. You at least have to listen. Listen to your top players. Listen

to your people. What is it that they're saying that it is that they want? What is it that

they're saying that they need? Find what in there is valid. If anything, what in there

is an adjustment that we can make. The best plays at times are called from players on

the field. The best plays are called and ran from people in the heat of battle in business.

You have to be open to listening to those things. You have to be open as a coach to take a

little bit of suggestions and getting buy-in. Once people listen or once you listen to

them, once you create that level of, I heard what you had to say, I did consider it. You

can choose to make adjustments or not make adjustments. After that point, you should be open

to be able to start making some withdraws on people. People won't always accept the criticism

depending on the maturity of their life. This is why I think it's very difficult to make

your team better if you're not making them better as a person. If you want to build a business

that's great. You have to have people that are great. If you want to have people that

are great, you have to invest time into those people on becoming better people. That's

exhausting, but it's exhausting to be great. What things would make people better? Like

if we're playing basketball, it doesn't mean we only talk to them about basketball. You

have to try to make them a better person. If you're in business and you're leading people,

you can't just talk about sales or the very end result. What is it as a leader that you

could do to help this person become a better version of themselves? How can you serve them?

When you start to serve them more, when you start to develop them, those will become your

future leaders. Those will also be the people that give you permission from the deposits

you've made in their life to make the necessary withdrawals to go to the next level. In closing,

let's keep our actions above the line. Let's at least start to be aware of the actions

that are below the line. The actions that are below the line typically are ones that have

no discipline, impulse decision making, and end up making you make a short-term decision

that could cost you your future out of a lack of patience or a lack of thinking. Above

the line actions are those things that take a little bit of discipline, a little bit of

commitment, a little bit of thinking long-term and not making short-term impulse decisions

that can hurt your life, but making the necessary decisions that will make your life better

two years from today, three years from today. And above all else to summarize everything,

stay away from BCD. Be aware yourself when you start to get criticized or take some coaching.

Do I automatically go to BCD and my automatically blaming others? Blaming my environment, blaming

my situation, not taking control. Do I go to complaining all the time? I'm complaining

about this, I'm complaining about that, I'm complaining about the pay, I'm complaining

about the leadership, I'm complaining about this, especially when somebody brings to my attention

that I need to do something better, or am I constantly defending myself? No, you don't understand.

It ain't me, what about you? What about the things you don't do right? What about the things that you

don't do? Or what, nothing great is going to come from BCD. And I know it hurts to sit back and

take coaching and criticism and it takes discipline to stay above the line. The better you are

being open-minded to how we can improve the faster you're going to get to where you want to go.

The more discipline you are to staying above the line, the faster you're going to get to where you

want to go. The easy short-term decision usually leads you to tough long-term lives. The hard short-term

decisions typically lead you to the great long-term lives. I want to encourage you all this week,

this month, to make the proper short-term decisions that will make the rest of your life the best of

your life. Thanks for joining us on another episode of the Grindcast. Get ready as a new day.