Arias House Recipient, Lamara

Count money, man.

Money that grits is fine.

I told him, I'm a beast.

But what's up gang?

Welcome to another episode of The Grindcast.

Get ready.

It's a new day.

And we got two special, special young ladies in the house

with me today.

We have Miss Lamara over here.

How you doing, Lamara?

Good.

I'm happy to be here.

Yeah, this one's going to be cool and new and exciting.

And we have the boss lady, Alyssa.

Alyssa is our, I call her the CEO of the Good

News.

So she runs, we started years ago.

The vision was to have a news kind of feel and channel

for our agency.

You know, I used to look at some of the news out there.

And you know, a lot of it is what's going on in the world

negative.

But you know there's so much good going on out there.

So I used to tell people like, man, we

should have a news station that's all the positive news.

Go out there and find what's going on.

What's good with people?

And so I said, well, I can't control that,

but I can control this.

We're going to start the good news here in our agency.

And she came highly recommended one of the top tier students

out of Youngstown State came here to work with us.

And in less than two years has literally revamped and made

such a huge, huge impact on our social media,

on all of our media outlets, and runs the good news.

And so today, we said, why don't we switch it up a little bit?

Alyssa's going to be the point person of this.

I'm going to sit back, relax, and hang with my friend,

Lamara, and she's going to do the interview and talk today

on the grindcast.

Yeah.

Well, thank you for having me.

And I'm really happy that my first introduction

to the grindcast is with Lamara because my career,

I love the one thing I love is just

talking to people who have extraordinary stories.

So when you gave me the opportunity to be here,

it's like, wow, what another, like what a great opportunity.

So you know, Lamara, I want to start by asking you just

you know, you are our house recipient.

So tell me a little bit about that process

from your perspective, how you got introduced to us,

and your initial thoughts when you heard you

on the house and everything like that.

So honestly, my story about getting

now starts away before I even got the house.

Let's go back a little bit, too.

And even just talk about yourself in general,

like career, whatever you want to touch on,

just kind of give us a little introduction

to who you want to be.

I can't wait for people to hear it.

I remember talking to her for the first time over the phone.

I was sitting in the parking lot of the mall here,

the Ross Park Mall, when I spoke to you for the first time.

And I was like just blown away.

You know, I knew right then and there

that's like, this is the one that I'm supposed

to connect with right there.

So looking forward to hearing even more of that story.

Well, I'm Lamara.

I grew up in McKee Sport a little bit outside

of the city of Pittsburgh.

I grew up with to a single mom.

My father was killed when my mom was pregnant with me.

So it was just her raising us, me and my brother.

I have two older brothers, one from my mom's at, one from my dad's

side.

I have two beautiful children, a daughter,

Anaya, who is 10 years old.

I also have a one-year-old son named Josiah.

And I work as a workforce case manager.

So I help those who are low income kind of get acclimated

into the work field and kind of prepare them for the workforce.

So whether that be, prevent and case management services

or just kind of doing like professional development

coaching, things like that.

I just got a promotion.

So I'm also doing marketing development now, too.

So that's exciting.

Yeah, that's a little bit about me.

So let's kind of go in from there to the house

and kind of how you got introduced to us

and how that relationship came to be.

And I want to hear Simon's perspective on it, too,

because really, just a little backstory.

Since I've been here in 2020, this

is something we've been talking about.

I've heard this project being played out for two years now.

So I know it's huge on your heart.

And just so, so, from your perspective of how this came to be,

and I want to hear Simon's, too.

So I actually just recently had to tell somebody

my testimony about the house.

And I was kind of just thinking about,

where do I even start?

Because there's a lot to my story.

But I think the house specifically,

that part of my testimony starts in 2019.

My daughter and I were baptized.

Everything was kind of going well.

I had the job that I really wanted working in real estate.

Like, everything was kind of going well.

I was actually about to start a new job.

And things like that.

And we were in a car accident like days after we were baptized.

And that kind of was like a punch and a gut for me,

because I had just kind of came out of a space

where I was kind of growing and healing

from my past experiences.

And I was excited to just kind of live, honestly.

And so I was just excited.

But we got into that car accident.

And then I kind of just took the wind out of my sales

for lack of better words.

I was like extremely discouraged.

And I kind of went into this funk for about a year

and some change.

I couldn't walk really for six months.

And then six months after that car accident,

I was in another car accident.

My daughter tore her kidney.

And so there was just like a lot of things

going on even spiritually for me that I was just kind of done

at that point.

And I remember just kind of saying to God

that I don't necessarily know what I need or what I want.

But I just knew I needed something different.

Because I had just got baptized and I was encouraged.

But then that happens.

I was like, OK, God, I just need something

to kind of like that fire in me again for lack of better words.

And so unfortunately, I was in that funk for a little bit

longer than I thought I would be.

My son was born in 2020.

And I remember when I had him, I just

was determined to get out of that space.

Now having two children, I just felt

like they needed me to kind of find a way

to come back to a healthy place.

And mentally, I was battling with postpartum depression

and mental health stuff.

So I started having people pray for restoration.

They were like, what does that mean?

And I'm like, I don't know.

I just need restoration.

I just need all things new.

I just need a fresh start.

And so that was the prayer.

Start in in August of 2021.

I started praying just God.

I need a fresh start.

I need a fresh start.

Again, not really know what that was

like, but having faith that it would look like something.

And so months later, my pastor told me

about a connection that he made with, I guess, pastor John.

I think it was Simon's pastor.

And he was telling me that there was somebody

who was just looking to bless somebody for Christmas.

At this point, honestly, I had no idea was a house.

No idea at all.

I was excited anyway, because I'm like,

I was praying for a fresh start.

I was praying for new beginnings.

I was praying for restoration.

So even not knowing what it was, I was excited.

There was just this level of hope that I saw the light

at the end of the tunnel.

And so I just was telling people to be praying.

They were like, what are we praying for?

And I'm like, I don't know.

But there's somebody that's looking to bless somebody

for Christmas.

And I just need a blessing.

And so fast forward to the first phone call.

There was just something in my spirit.

I was like, this is like a kind of kind of spirit, almost

innocent.

I don't know.

I kind of just felt like the presence of God,

like even when I was talking to him on the phone.

I don't know.

Something just in me.

I don't know.

So they mentioned that it was for a house.

And I just about lost my mind when I got off the phone

if I'm honest with you because that was the first time

that I heard that it was a house.

So I got off the phone and I'm like, whoa, Lord,

that's not necessarily what I was talking about.

But if this is your will, then wow, essentially, right?

So fast forward a couple of weeks later,

I talked to Simon again and he told us

that we were actually the recipients of the house.

And for me, it was, I had to go back through all of that time

that I just told you guys about because for me,

like I said, it didn't just start at last year

or it didn't just start with the house.

Like the house is like a combination of prayers

over a span of like five years.

And so it's incredible.

It's incredible.

Yeah, I'm grateful.

And you mentioned like this kind of spirit feeling.

And I know you've said something similar to me too.

So I want to hear this from your perspective as well.

Yeah, so for us, when you first came in,

it was like a vision first of like, all right,

we're going to do something big.

We do all types of cool contests here.

And we were sales people went a bunch of money.

We gave away a car recently.

And I'm like, man, what could we do together

if we were just to focus on something

that ain't got nothing to do with us prospering?

And ain't got nothing to do with a sales contest.

And ain't got nothing to do with us winning anything.

But how about we see what we could do,

bless somebody else?

And what could we do that's big?

And for me, it became a house was the first thing

because that was so significant to my mother.

And I, before I knew, Lamara was a single mom.

I was raised by a single mom.

And the first house I grew up in was we sold it.

It was a hand me down from my great-grandmother

who we lived with.

She passed away.

And gave us that house.

And we eventually sold it going into my freshman year

of high school.

And we got $11,000 for the house on the east side of Youngstown.

And from there, we bought our first house

that we actually owned.

And my mom was so proud.

The years of struggle to have a kid that's 14 years old.

You just now get in your first home, five minutes

outside of Youngstown, Camel.

And bought that house for, I think, $36,000.

And one bedroom, one bathroom, no finished basement, no garage.

And we ended up making my room the attic upstairs

and ended up being turned into a bedroom.

But I remember as small as it was, to me,

it was like such a big deal as a kid.

Man, we actually got our own spot a little bit safer

than we were before.

And I had my own space, my own bedroom.

And I remember that whole feeling.

So I'm like, man, I just, I think that that's the thing

that came to my mind.

And so then we went to all these different outlets

and ways to try to drive traffic and applicants of who

are we going to pick now?

Who do you give this to?

And I got people looking at me, friends of mine,

looking at me like, you know I need a house.

You know I need some help.

And it's like, man, it's same for you.

You know what I mean?

I could just without even talking,

I could just pick up the vibe of like, how about me?

It's like, no, I didn't want to know this person at all.

I don't want to have nothing to do with it.

And because, you know, like you used to say,

it goes, man, it just goes way back five years.

It goes way beyond the house.

It goes start a way before that.

I feel the same way, you know, that this wasn't a meat thing.

This was what God has done in my life

and in our organization and our agency.

I didn't want it to be somebody that I knew.

I wanted it to be somebody that we didn't know.

And it wasn't me.

It was our whole agency had this vision.

Everybody kind of supported this

and wanted to do something like this.

And so then I reached out to Pastor John,

because I had like, I got overwhelmed, you know,

with all the people that wanted this, you know what I mean?

And so I started to ask for his advice

and I told him the area and the location,

because friend of mine, Josh, Adamick went out

and found the place.

That's what he does.

You know, he finds homes at good value.

Looks, Adam, it says, man, if we put some money into them,

it'll be worth, you know, way more.

And he really does that for people

that are looking to invest.

I'm like, man, could you do this for me?

And here's what I'm trying to do.

And I know he would do it because he got such a good heart.

He's always willing to, you know, help.

And so he found this place, this home.

And so we were kind of tied to that location, that area.

So then I had to find somebody in that area.

So it helped to shrink down the amount of people

and applicants that we had.

And we still had a good amount of applicants, you know.

And there's probably people out there right now,

not blessing me, you know what I mean right now?

Like, man, it should have been me.

But Pastor John, as I started to look through a read

through some of the stories, I'm like, all right,

these are the couple of people

that I'm going to talk to now, because I kind of got a vibe

for who they wear on paper, you know,

hearing from others.

And so I'm like, I'm going to start talking to people now.

And when I spoke to Lamera, it was like, man,

I knew right then and there, I felt that same thing.

You know, I felt like this is the right thing to do.

And it didn't have to be a single mom, you know,

but that kind of put it over the edge, you know, for me.

And then she's such a well-spoken, you know,

as you see classy, you know, young lady.

A lot of times you hear people, you know,

that are getting help, you know, in some area.

And you think of somebody that kind of is like demeaning,

you know, it's like they don't have much

or they're not doing much.

Like this wasn't the case.

Like this girl was moving, growing,

spoke really well, spoke better than me, you know,

over the phone.

And I'm like, man, this is what I wanted

is to give somebody a hand, up, not a hand out.

And this is, I could tell, she just needed a little launch pad.

And she's just destined for so much greatness.

And that's why I was thankful for Lamarra Spirit, you know,

I told her in the beginning, you know,

if she would have told me, man, I just don't want

to talk about it after this.

I don't want to be on the grind cast, you know,

I don't want to talk to the agency, you know,

I don't want to be on the video, you know,

and I told you the whole time, I'm like,

just make sure she knows, like, she ain't got to do none of this stuff.

Right.

Because it was never really about, man, truly,

was just never about the, like, man,

what can we get out of it?

You know what I'm saying?

Because there's a lot of other ways I could have tried to get things out.

It wasn't really get out of it.

It was more to inspire other people

and inspire our organization on what an impact we could make

on other people's lives, if we really come together

and do something together.

Because the mission is, you know,

what can we do now?

We want to become a bigger organization

so we can make a bigger difference.

You know, what about, what if we could do

10 homes, you know, for people one day,

what if we could buy a block, you know, one day

and help out a bunch of people,

literally change the community.

I don't think we're that far off, you know,

from doing something like that.

And so I think a lot of that is, is it...

exposure, you know, before I learned how important it was to give somebody taught

me by showing me.

John Maxwell says leadership is caught not taught in a spy what you do, not always

by what you say.

So I thought our people could learn and grow and make them a little bit more

passionate to want to be a giver by actually seeing the person.

A lot of times you give the things and it's like by faith.

And I love that.

But when you can actually see a person and say, man, this is, this is actually

where this is going.

It will inspire more people.

And that's what we wanted, that's what we wanted to do.

And I can't stress to people enough that, you know, and to you, how grateful

that I am for you to share your story and take it, you know, the right way

because I now want to make sure you know that it's like, I ain't looking at you

as somebody that like, you didn't, I mean, you appreciated, but you didn't need it.

You know what I mean?

She needed it, but she didn't need it.

Like she, she's moving, she's moving.

She got her stuff together.

She got, she got, she got some support.

She got ahead on her shoulders.

She got talent, you know, she's, I can already see where, where, where she's going.

And so that's the, the perfect type of person that we wanted that wasn't just

going to sit on it and this is it, you know, for them.

And this is like, this is a launch place that that Lamar is going to have.

She's going to do big things.

And, and I just love being around, you know, around people like, like you.

So I'm just, I am just, just, just grateful, you know, for that spirit.

And you know, I would say just hearing you both talk about this whole experience,

it seems one thing that really stands out is your faith and how you were able to kind

of be resilient through these hard times, cracks and post-parameteration, et cetera,

because of your faith.

So, you know, I'm just curious like what initially brought you to your faith and why is that

so important to you?

I grew up in church.

I think, you know, I always was exposed to it.

My mom is actually a Reverend.

So I was in church my whole life.

I remember sleeping on a fuse gun.

But I think my own personal relationship with God started after honestly a really bad

breakup in like 2015.

I kind of got to the point where I was like, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired

of being sick and tired or has to be more to life than it's like I literally remember

that day like it was yesterday.

I was like, oh my knees in my living room.

And that was like my first actual experience like with God on my own.

Because you know, we can live through like our grandmother's faith or like our parents'

faith.

But after a while it's like you have to kind of develop your own relationship, your own

story or testimony with God.

And so for me, that's kind of where it started.

I think after that it forced me to be honest and be vulnerable with God.

That was never something that I was taught.

I was kind of taught that some big men in this guy, you just are obedient.

Like, but he wasn't reachable or attainable.

And so for me, he became real in that season in my life because I was honest.

It didn't feel good.

And he accepted and embraced those moments like where I was like, okay, I don't want to pray

right now.

Like I'm frustrated.

I don't understand why life is hard right now.

God, like I grew up knowing you growing up in church.

Why am I going through this?

Like, and that was my process.

And I think I had to go through that because now coming like the resilience comes from

the fact that I'm honest with God that I'm honest about what I go through.

I think one of the echo chambers you might hear if you like interview people that

know me is that I'm extremely vulnerable.

And it starts first with God and then with people vulnerable with God, vulnerable

with myself and then being vulnerable with other people.

And so that was something that I had to I had to develop.

I'm still learning that.

But I practice.

So like it like in my anxiety, I was telling a list of that.

I really struggle with anxiety.

But in those moments recognizing that I can say, okay, Lord, I'm a little fearful right

now.

And I don't have to feel like there's this expectation that, okay, you need to pull

it together.

You have to get yourself together.

And so that's kind of how my faith journey started.

Yeah.

Like allowing yourself to feel what you're feeling through it.

And you know, I know that there's a lot that you've overcome in different ways.

And do you want to maybe just give some advice to people out there who are going through

a season of adversity and you know, somehow need, you know, maybe a way to see through

it from from your perspective, what would you tell those people?

First, I would say to feel like I would say start there.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel.

Allow yourself to.

I like to say you have to feel in order to heal because for me, that was my story.

Like I had to allow myself to like lean into the pain as difficult as that was.

And my advice would be to do that in a safety of like people that you trust or

community that is safe.

That's not something that I would recommend doing.

Like if you're battling with like a lot of mental anguish, I would say do it with

somebody, but allow yourself to feel.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable first with yourself and then with God and then with

other people, I think also recognizing that everything that we go through, it all

truly does work together for the good.

Like I try not to be too churchy, but Romans 828 talks about all things working

together for the good of those that love God.

And so for me, what that looks like, maybe in like a visual learner, what that

looks like is I think about my grandmother.

She used to make like these blankets and she would have like all of these

different pieces of blanket.

Like it would be like the pink part, then the purple part, then the white part.

And then I remember her just kind of stitching all of those different parts

together.

And at the beginning, it didn't look like a blanket or it didn't look like whatever

it is as she wanted to accomplish, but like as she just kept stitching all of

those different pieces together, it then was something as she was able to give

like as a blanket for her grandkids, something that now we enjoy, something

that now we, we value, but it took all those different pieces in order for her

to get that that one big blanket.

And so that's kind of how I equate Romans 828.

Everything that we go through in our life is a stitch.

It's just a small part of a bigger story.

It's just a very, very small part of your of your purpose.

And so for me, I would say that's my advice to know that there's not one thing

that's going to be wasted.

There's not one thing that you go through that isn't going to be used to either

help somebody else or grow your faith or make you better.

And so I think that just kind of go through, grow through the process,

grow through the process, let yourself fail, be vulnerable, be honest.

Find a counselor if you need to.

There's so many different things right now.

This is just like a shameless plug, but there is so much free mental health

services right now.

And so that's my encouragement to like fan people that you can count on.

Do you know of a place that you know better help?

Better help is one that's offering free counseling services.

For those who like meditation, there's an app called Balance that's offering

a one year meditation app.

There are so when I say so many, just online, these are all virtual.

You need to like go and find someone.

Absolutely, because you know, that's why a lot of people, especially right now,

we're in a pandemic, but on top of that, people are not as comfortable

talking to somebody, maybe face to face.

So I love the fact that now there are a lot more options for people to get help

when they're going through things.

When you're online too, you're able to find more people around the nation,

because if you're only looking at the people and we're in the Pittsburgh area,

you might be limited to, you know, only with people.

So it's just, it expands it even more.

And what are like some things that have kind of made you go into this mindset?

Like what are some things in your life that have just kind of shaped who you are?

I would say losing my father, like I think my father being murdered

before I was born impacted me in ways that I'm still unpacking.

I think, you know, my mom being a single mom and having to work as much.

There was a lot of things that I had to teach myself that I had to like learn on my own.

Like I was a runaway.

I was in a not a placement growing up.

There was so many things that I experienced, but I think,

I think coming out on the other side of that gives me more of an empathy for other people.

And I know that's not necessarily what you asked, but I just wanted to say that too,

because I've gone through a lot, but it gives me a greater level of understanding of why people

might react the way that they're reacting or feel the way that they feel.

It gives you just a deeper level of compassion too to recognize like you just never know.

Like what somebody is going through.

And when people talk to me and I start sharing my story, they even say to me,

like, I would have never known that.

And I'm like, you'd never know, though, right?

Like you person in a grocery store, the person you might walk past,

like you never know who people go through, but those are some of the things that I've gone through.

Having a child, you know, my daughter, I was 17 when I had my daughter.

And so even that kind of forced me to have to grow up in ways that I maybe didn't,

wasn't going to grow up in.

And so yeah, that's another connection, you know, that I found from her when we had spoke

and was that her father was murdered when she was, when her mom was pregnant with her.

That's, that's a Maya story.

That's, that's my goddaughter story who lives with me.

I consider her my daughter.

She's 19, you know, you're old right now, move with me when she was in eighth grade.

And I was in her life the whole time.

Her dad was one of my best friends and was murdered my freshman year of college.

And so I haven't really found anybody like her until her, you know, I never,

and then to hear from somebody of like, man, I'm still, I know there,

there's one person right there that you guys would just hit it off.

And her name, her name's Maya, she has Anaya, you know, her daughter's a Maya.

You got a Maya.

You got a Maya and anaya.

But I think you would really enjoy Maya.

She would really enjoy you and really to hear from somebody that has kind of started to unpack.

That because that always is something I thought about of like, man,

how much could it really bug you if you weren't even necessarily here yet

when your father was gone and there has to be a bunch of emotions that come with that.

That don't be somebody that can relate to honestly, what you just said is why I took me so long to unpack it.

Because I was under the impression like, how could you miss something you never had?

Or how could you mourn the loss of something that you never was able to really,

you know, have a relationship with, but I think our identities come from our fathers.

And so when we lack that, you know, you tend to try to look for anything to try to, you know,

fill the void or find some type of identity.

And that was my story for a long time until I recognized what the root of it was.

And so when I say like, now I'm still unpacking it, it's because there were behaviors and things

that were that were taking place and thought process and things that I had that were all wrapped up

in the fact that I lost my father and didn't have that relationship.

So yeah.

Yeah.

And I know that there is a lot of younger people who listen to this podcast, high school, things like that.

And your story just, the theme throughout is just kind of self-reflection and, you know,

doing the inner work.

And I would say to anyone out there, especially younger people, like it doesn't matter where you start,

you know, or it doesn't matter what you go through, it matters, you know, how you grow through it.

And you know, something I want to touch on too for Simon is, you know,

there's a lot of people from the outside looking in who look at a situation like this and what we're doing with this house

and think, you know, how can I get involved with something like that?

Or how can I do something like that within my own community or whatever, even if it's on a small scale.

So what, you know, advice or guidance would you have for those people?

I think people get paralysis of what they can't do, you know, typically they have this vision of,

man, I can't do something as big as I would want to.

So let me get right first and then I'm going to be a giver, you know, let me get my stuff in order and then I'm going to be a giver.

And I would just tell, you know, people what I've learned is that you give where you are, what you have, you know, of, you know,

if you're not going to give a dollar out of $10, what makes the Lord think you're going to give a million out of $10 million.

And it's not always money, it's time.

It's, it's you can give energy, you can give positive love, you can give words, you can give your time at a local charity nonprofit.

And being that I've been a part of starting to separate, you know, youth programs for intercity youth, it's a lot of help that's needed.

And, and yeah, money's needed, but man, it's a lot of times it's just a consistent, reliable person that, even if it's once a month,

we know that one person is going to be there once a month or if it's once a week, we know that one person is going to be there once a week.

And, and just having a consistent, reliable person that's willing to show up a couple hours a week or a couple hours a month really, really does more for some of these places that go that, that help us serve some of these people more than people think.

And so people would analyze that and say, man, I can't give 100 hours of this.

I can't give 30 hours. I got my own this. I got my own that, you know, going on, let me wait till I get right, you know, before I can give some time to anything else.

Let me, man, just, I would just encourage you to give what it is that you do got, you know, what you do have, whether it's $5, $5, $5, $5, 30 minutes, you know, to something, because not only will it, will it help impact other people, but you end up just blessing yourself on accident, you know, from it.

The things that I've received from helping, you know, these kids and being a part of other people because it's not just me as a group of people that make that happen.

The, the, the blessings that I've gotten from it, the joy that has brought to my life.

The, it's helped me mature and grow in ways that I never, never would have expected. They've done way more for me than I have ever done, you know, for them.

So that's, that's what I would say, get involved locally, especially locally, where you're at something that's close and something that's inspirational or something that that you're connected to may not be what I'm connected to, find something that inspires you and go out there and help somebody.

Yeah, and I know this relationship isn't one that ends after today or after you know, you get the house.

I told her she was stuck with me. She thought I was playing.

She told me to is like, she we're going to be, you know, friends forever after this.

And you know, it's so apparent that this relationship was formed, you know, not by accident at all.

So thank you both for having me. It was a pleasure to be on the grind cast line.

And I appreciate the opportunity. Thank you. Thank you. Alyssa. Thank you.

I appreciate you and you're stuck with me. Thanks for joining us on another episode of

The Grirecast. Get ready as a new day.