Giving Back To What Gives To You!

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I'm trying to told trying to told him I'm a beast.

But

What's up gang?

Welcome to the grind cast.

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New day.

What's up gang?

Welcome to another episode of the grind cast.

Get ready.

It's a it's a new day and we got to talk about giving back

to what gives to you.

You got to feed what is feeding what is feeding you.

And so you know what I've learned is is is I hope you know over time and and the

people's opinion that I've learned to value the most are the people that see me and

really know the the real me you know I did a message not too long ago about I'm not

as good as people think that I am.

I'm a human being.

And so I value the opinion of people that are close to me my friends that are close to

me my wife my children my mom the people that really know me.

And I think that one area you know thanks to others you know I've learned to to give

and be a giver and I think the people that are close to me would all say that that they

know that I'm a I'm a giver and I enjoy giving but it was a learned behavior and I can't

say I always was as excited about giving as I am now but I've learned that it's cyclical.

And so there's a lot more takers than there are givers and there's it's a whole lot

easier naturally as a person to take than it is to give you know you just look at two children

you know I look think of my my kids and they're just beautiful together my son is two my

daughter is four and they're great together like that they fight once in a while but if I

if I try to haul her at my son my daughter starts haulering at me even if he hurt her if

she gets if I start making him cry she starts hauling at me he does the same thing but it's

it's not natural for them to want to share their toys and and and to just give their toys

away or give things you know we've been teaching my daughter to give away her toys the people

that don't have toys and and it's just not a natural thing all the time especially as

as the younger that that that you are to learn how to be a giver but what I want you to think

about is I think the design in life is is the cycle to give what gives to you feed whatever is

feeding you if the ground it gives back that in the grass don't give back to the ground and that

stops if if the humidity that don't happen then the clouds can't rain and if the clouds rain

the than the humidity happens that if the humidity happens then then the clouds rain and so every

time that you break that cycle whatever that relationship is will die it's all want you to think

like even in your own relationship like if you're married to someone and they keep giving to you

and you don't give back to them eventually there's there's going to be there's going to be

issues and so anytime you don't give back to what's given to you you kill that relationship you

can't keep working the ox you know just think about like a farmer you can't keep working the ox

and not feeding the ox like the the ox is giving to you if you don't feed it the relationship is

going to it's going to be over it's so I just want it I want to challenge you to think about

your relationships at home your relationships in business your relationships with with your mentors

and in in parents and people that have done things for you are would you say that you're being as

good of a giver as you are a taker and here's the great thing that I think if you take me up on this

and test me on this it and just try to adopt it watch what happens if you're really selfish

watch what happens when you start giving because the more you give the more you receive the more

you're going to get back it's just I've learned that that this cycle is so true it's almost

hard to stop the more you give some of my best relationships that have been developed that God

has blessed me with started because of giving you know I've developed a good relationship with

with Ryan Shayzear you know that started but that that I wouldn't ever even met him if it wasn't

for my youth program and and inspire minds and us getting getting connected and and coach Trussell

has been a mentor you know to me and a friend to me that whole introduction just that that whole

real intro started through giving and and so I just want to encourage you to look at all the

relationships and make sure that you're being a better giver than you are a taker and watch what

happens that the more you give the more you receive and and when I'm around friends of mine that

have business success world success okay because I don't want to say success because they got some money

but I'm thinking of some friends of mine that do have some money friend of mine got a box and

all the games here in Pittsburgh and it's like we get into this battle of okay you gave me box tickets

to the penguins games all the time you're not paying for all your food that you just ordered you know

$500 worth of food from the restaurant that I'm a partner in and then we just keep on like

is there's just this like who can out give the other person because you're not just going to keep

giving to me I mean not giving something to you I think it's just a natural just like Christmas

you know if somebody gets you a gift it's awkward if you don't give a gift back right so you

ought to you ever have somebody's getting you a gift you find out you're like oh shit I got to

hurry up and go get some I got to go get them a gift you got to be able to bless

whatever's blessing you help whatever's helping helping you okay every relationship that you

violate that you watch is going to be cursed okay something it says something about your character

when you learn to give what's giving to you what's so ever a man or woman so's so shall you reap

and so what are you sewing out there and and I'm going to switch gears into parents and in

business just leadership stuff and and one of the the small things that

is kind of a cousin to what I'm talking about is you're you teach your kids a lot about how to treat

you by how you treat your parents and so in business if you're leading a team of people

and you're disrespectful to your boss and and and and you're not giving to your boss and you don't

sacrifice for your boss and or whoever's leading you the people that you're leading you're

going to teach them how to treat you over time by the way that they see you treat your leaders or

your parents like we we can't kids and people can't see hostility in reap love it's just it's very

difficult and and and so just remember in leadership what's so ever that you so so shall you reap

if you so serving your people your people are going to serve you if you keep serving your people

your people are going to keep serving you the minute that they keep serving you and you don't

serve them is the minute that you're going to watch your business and watch your relationship start

to go down downhill and so think about what are you sewing in leadership from the way that you're

treating the people that are leading you because I think almost every circumstance in some way

shape or form in life some everybody's a player and everybody's a coach everybody's a player and

everybody's a coach for the most part at at some point and so when you're when you're a player and

you have a coach the way that you treat that coach and the way that you operate in that relationship

is is quietly teaching people how to treat how to treat you and so you know sometimes people don't

understand why you know they're not getting along with people or or or why don't people like me

you know you ever meet somebody like that it just like you know I don't understand why the people

don't like me or usually if people don't like you you're just probably not being nice people want

to come around nice people like it don't matter how cute that you are at some point being nasty

in mean Trump's cute you understand what I'm saying like you're cuteness in your looks is only

going to get you so far I promise you your attitude in the way that you treat others is going to

trump your looks and everything else that you bring to the table every single time every single time

and so if you want people to start liking you if you want to have people that that want to be

around you more just be nice to people have have a have a positive attitude everybody's going through

stuff outside of work outside of the locker room everybody has personal things going on

try not to bring those things that baggage to the people around you because your energy gives off

on them and so it's different when you have a friend and you pull them to the side and you guys

or each other's confident you in you you vent to each other and stuff but in the workplace or in

a coaching environment especially when you're responsible for leading other people you can't be

bringing no negative juju negative energy into people you either a lifter or a leaner positive

or negative and and and so understand that and and keep going back to keep going back to making sure

in your relationships you're not taking in more than what you're willing to willing to feed because

you can't expect people to go on sale because you got tired of giving so now these people got to

reduce their value because of you what what I mean by that like even though and man sometimes I

want to be real and it's just so hard for me to find the the words you know I maybe I'm not

articulate enough to to really describe it I just I get afraid of sounding cocky or that's not

it there's a lot of people doing better to mean there's a lot of people that got more money to

me and but the fact is I don't even need to work anymore I don't have to do it I can survive life would

be good but if you look at my day-to-day routine and you talk to my people and you watch how I roll

with my people I think hope feel and I'm pretty confident that they would say that they feel me

constantly wanting to pour into them and they feel energy wanting to to pour into them because

I can't pick and I can't pick and say okay whoo now that I'm comfortable I'm gonna stop being a

giver I'm gonna stop pouring into these people helping to develop these people sacrificing

giving them time I'm gonna stop giving and pouring into them but I expect them to give to me I

expect them to keep the business rolling when I watch people and I'm blessed to be to be I have

a consulting company with some of the most successful people in our industry and it's just an

honor in a privilege to I mean it's one thing where you're coaching rookies it's another thing

when people are actively seeking you out and and paying you to coach them that have already had

high levels of success I try to bring my a-game all the time with these people but when I see some

of them that used to have success stop having success it goes back to this principle that I'm talking

about like you stop feeding what's feeding you so now you just cash and checks from your business

you live in this lavish lifestyle you're driving sweet cars taking nice vacations but you stop

giving the people that have been giving to you you stop pouring into that business that's been

pouring into you and you and you wonder why have things slowed down why why is my business not

thriving take a peek at are you giving as much as you used to give when things worth driving

because you can't expect to get more and give less now you can give different

but you can't you can't keep getting and not keep giving the next thing that that I want to talk

to you about is is I think too many people think that to be successful or happy like you always have

to be comfortable comfortable is your workout measured by your comfort like I've never said

whoo man that was a great workout that was really comfortable that was successful you know if

if if somebody's operating uh uh you know someone's doing surgery and they're a doctor doing surgery

and they had to do open heart surgery and you know something didn't work out and it was a failure but

they said oh and I was I was comfortable would you would you say that that's a that's a success

like we didn't get the tumor but we had a great time guys how many people are trying to measure

success

with comfort let alone trying to measure success at all it's hard to measure that stuff stuff that matters

is hard to to measure like how can I measure how much I love my children I mean it's just hard

even I don't know how to measure it how to show it how to weigh it out how to explain it to you

it's hard to measure sometimes

what it's going to take in order for you to take your life to the next fricking level but I can

promise you that typically going to the next level there's going to be some form of pain and discomfort

it's going to be like to have a baby a woman gets pregnant and things stretch out and

and things get uncomfortable and that's the way that you grow.

If you're a bodybuilder and you're trying to build muscle,

your muscles break down, they get sore

and they grow through discomfort.

And so you can't be measuring your success

by how much comfort that you have.

And I was having a conversation with a friend of mine

today in the car and she was saying,

well, man, your phone must be blowing up all day.

How much does that phone, I mean, it's just a non.

Sometimes we'll drive seven hours and I don't talk to him one time.

Seven hours straight of just calls, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

I've learned how to just be comfortable

being uncomfortable.

I just breathe.

I don't panic. I don't stress.

And I'm not saying this to build myself up.

I just want to encourage you to understand that

even me and where I'm at, I'm not always comfortable.

Things aren't always comfortable.

The week isn't always comfortable.

The day isn't always comfortable,

but I feel happy and I feel alive and successful.

People sometimes use artificial measurements

for success, for things that are visible.

Like, there's a lot of people that are failing,

but they think that they're winning.

Like, they're making money, they're having success over here,

but their heart is empty and they're miserable.

So it looks like they're winning,

but they're actually failing.

And so if we're going to take it to the next level

and that discomfort,

and I think the things that make it uncomfortable,

is that typically to grow,

you have to give up immediate gratification for growth.

You got to give up to go up.

You got to give up to go up.

For everything in life that you get

or go to the next level one,

you'll see that there's going to be some type of give up

to go up relationship.

And then you, here's, people ask me all the time,

how do you know, how do you keep still a good relationship

with your kids and your spouse and things of that

when you work so hard?

I think it's not only important to know that in order to go up,

you got to give up to go up,

you got to know what you're not willing to give up.

Like I'm just not, no matter what it takes,

I'm not willing to give up getting some quality time

weekly with my kids.

Now they're times where I'm on a trip or a business meeting

and I'm gone for five, six days

and it changes that week up a little bit.

Yes, and I miss them when that happens.

But when I'm here,

when things are normal,

you know, my normal was never frickin normal,

but when they're normal for me,

you know, 90% of the time,

I got a rhythm of like I'm not giving up,

getting a date night with Nat,

not giving up, spending some time with my kids,

not giving up, working out,

not giving up, eating clean.

Like there's just, it's important to know what you gotta give up.

It's also important to know what you're not willing to give up,

what you can't give up,

but don't use that as a fallback, as an excuse.

Like I'm telling you on one hand,

I'm not willing to give up some quality time

with my kids and my relationships,

but at the same time I'm telling you,

I'm giving up consistently on a weekly or monthly basis,

sometime with them to grow others,

to grow our business, to make their life better,

to make other people's life better.

Like there's times I'm driving an hour to inspire minds

and youngstown gettin' home at 10, 11 o'clock,

I'm giving up an evening from my kids

to help out others.

And so you can't let the kids or the spouse

or this one or that one be an excuse.

There's 168 hours in a frickin' week.

You can do it all if you schedule it all.

And so I just wanna encourage you now

to give up immediate gratification for growth.

You gotta be able to give up what you feel like eating right now

to get in shape and have growth in that area

of your life a month from today, two months from today.

What trade-offs do you need to be making right now

that you haven't been making?

To get in shape,

are you buying some things that you shouldn't be buying?

So you can't get into financial shape.

Are you eating some things that you shouldn't be eating?

Are you drinking some things that you shouldn't be drinking?

So you can't get yourself in the shape that you want.

Like what are the things that you need to be trading right now

is a video games?

Is it too much leisure time, too much TV, too much treats,

too much hanging out in party and too much?

What are the things that you know for a fact

and you think into this and you're just,

you're trying to avoid my voice right now.

You don't really wanna hear me on this

because you know it's gonna hold you,

but hear me out on this one.

Don't run from me.

Look at the man and woman and the mirror.

Think about it for a second

because if we, we can't grow in our comfort zone,

let's get uncomfortable for a minute.

What trade-offs need to be made right now

that you haven't been making to take yourself to the next level?

Like most people that I've seen have a barrier

that's stopping them from getting to the next level.

And oftentimes they know what it is

that they can and they should remove that barrier,

but they just haven't done it yet.

They haven't made that decision or choice yet.

And I wanna encourage you to make that decision today.

Decisions determine your destiny,

the three D's, decisions determine your destiny.

When's the best time?

When was the best time to plan a tree?

X amount of years ago.

When's the next best time today?

And so maybe you haven't gotten to it yet.

We're already in March.

And we're looking at our 2020 goals.

And we already hear the first chorus down,

ladies and gentlemen.

And you haven't made the sacrifices that you need to make.

You haven't started moving forward with things

that you said you wanted to do

when that ball dropped in Times Square.

Shout out to the Times Square New York office

if you're listening.

Let's do it right now.

Don't wait for 2021.

Remove the barriers.

Give up to go up.

Be a giver more than you're a taker.

All the things that were covering

because I can promise you,

and this ain't some cliche stuff.

Being around a lot of people,

I'm in the people person businesses.

I find more people have it than don't have it.

More people got it.

Then don't got it.

There's got it on different levels.

There's got it on Tom Brady level as a quarterback.

And then there's got it as a starting high school quarterback.

There's levels to it.

But more often than not,

I find people that got it.

They got the tools.

They just don't bring it out.

They don't make the sacrifices.

They don't take the risks.

They don't take the chances.

They don't stop doing things that are causing them harm

and dragging them down.

They can't cut off the negative relationships.

It's all one encourage you.

You gotta take care of yourself.

In order to be selfless and help others,

the first thing you need to do is be selfish.

That's why when you get on an airplane,

the first thing they tell you to do is when the mask drops,

please put the mask on yourself before

assisting any small children or elderly.

Because if you don't put the mask on you,

you ain't gonna be able to help anybody else.

And so be selfish for a minute right now.

What are things that you need to do to take care of you,

to get you in the best shape that you could be in?

So you could be the best forged version of yourself

for this world that you wanna serve.

And that starts with you, getting in shape with you.

Thanks for joining us on another episode of The Grindcast.

Hey, if this helped you out and you found some value,

do me a favor and share this with others

that you think we could have some impact on.

And we'll see you next time. Thanks.

Count money, man.

The bag grids his fine, fine, so I was trying to

told him I'm a beast, but...