Holding Others Accountable

Count money, man.

I'm not rich.

I'm trying to talk, I'm trying to talk to my beast, but

all right.

Welcome back to another episode of the grind cast.

Get ready.

It's a new day and I received a message asking me,

how do you hold others accountable without being too controlling?

And so let's, let's maybe start talking about that.

I think that is a great topic because I don't think you can

reach your maximum ability without account ability.

And accountability has to be received properly in order to get

maximized growth.

And so, you know, for the, you know, we've said in the past that,

you know, in life, typically, almost a lot of times,

everybody gets an opportunity to be a player and everybody got an

opportunity to be a coach at all given times.

You know, you're being coached and you're also coaching others.

A lot of times in business, especially.

And so when, when you look at that, your job as a player is to

identify the right coach and then you've got to be able to handle

accountability because we can't maximize your ability without

accountability.

And, and so what is accountability?

First of all, accountability, let's, let's just get, make a simple

single word answer.

I think accountability could get a bad rap.

It sounds like such a negative.

All it is is just answerable.

Answerable.

So I want to hold you answerable to what you said that you were going to do.

That's, that's what accountability is.

That's why they call it a lot of times when you're trying to get in shape

in the gym.

They call it an accountability partner.

It doesn't necessarily mean that you, that it has to come down on you

like such a boss.

It's just, let me hold you answerable.

There were less, you got to give an answer to why you didn't show up to the

gym when you said you were going to do it.

Let's hold you answerable that you said you were going to lose three pounds this

month.

And did you follow what we said we were going to do as friends answerable.

So accountability doesn't necessarily have to be derogatory.

It doesn't have to be demeaning.

You don't have to be mean to the person or whatever it's just like,

let's talk about what you said you were going to do and what actually happened.

And then we got to identify the next month or the next week.

Are we going to get better at identifying what you need to do and then holding

yourself and letting me hold you accountable answerable to what you actually did.

It's, it's really that simple.

And so I really, you know, it starts with like, how do we identify who you

should and who you should not hold accountable and like when to stop, you know.

So I think looking at who you should and who you should not hold accountable

is tricky because sometimes it all depends on the situation.

What your business is.

Is this a team sport we're talking about?

Is this a business decision?

Is this a business partnership?

Is this a child?

You know, so I have to pick an area and say, let's, let's say we're in our

business, how can I identify who I should and should not hold accountable?

I'm, I'm thinking everybody that says that identifies that they want to grow

and they want to do a certain thing that I can help and I can't help everybody.

I'm going to look at, okay, this is what you want.

This is the activity that's going to get you closer to what you want.

So I want to start out and draw out the activity of here's the reps and sets.

Here's the calls.

Here's the things that you need to do that are going to get you closer to this

that you want.

And so that will call the price.

And I want to hold you accountable to the price this week or to the price

this month to the things that you can control.

Let me hold you answerable to that.

Are we both in agreement to this?

Are we in a mutual agreement that this is what it's going to require?

You want to get to this certain goal.

You're not going to be mad at me for having the conversation with you.

And so if that the more open and receptive that person is to coaching

constructive criticism and accountability,

the more that I should probably work with that person.

And it's really simple that the people that can't take the constructive

criticism. Now part of it is on you is your delivery.

This delivery, you know, we talk a lot about in business.

There's an art and there's a science.

You know, the science is like cutting dry two plus two is four.

And this is what it takes.

You know, in order to make this happen.

Here's how many hires you need.

Here's how many sets that you need.

Here's how many calls you need to make.

But that's the science.

The art of leadership is where you can ask questions from a mentor to grow

in.

You could read books and stuff to grow in or you can make mistakes in

and get your own experience and reps.

But in my experience, one of the top three things that I think leaders

don't do well in naturally is delivery is the delivery of what you want to say.

It has to be palatable no matter how good the medicine is for the person.

Most people, not all people, most people need the medicine,

but they got to be able to have it taste decent enough to take a swallow it.

See, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, at 40 right now,

I don't really care what it tastes like.

If I'll, I'll taste and drink whatever and take whatever if it's going to help me

become more healthy.

But my, my six year old son, he throws a fit.

If it don't taste good, I mean, it's like a 20 minute project to get him to take

some medicine that he needs for his own behalf.

I mean, I should record it and put it next to our nice, like we have a nice family

photo that people comment on and they say, oh, man, your family looks so cute.

You know, look at how precious.

And then I should put right next to that, I should put a video of, of me in the

household flipped upside down, the dog barking, the kids crying.

Me and my wife trying to bargain on how we can get the kid to swallow the medicine.

We start yelling at, at each other at times and we're coming, we're taking a break,

coming back with a new strategy and who's going to pitch the strategy.

It is a big commotion to get my man to take the medicine.

It's going to make him better.

And a big part of it is the flavor.

And so even though it's good for him, he ain't going to swallow it if we can't get the

flavor right.

And so in leadership, no matter how good it is for your people, for your kid,

they can't swallow it a lot of times if the flavor ain't right and the flavor is the

delivery.

And so you got to master the art of delivery and that's why I say part of it is on the

leader.

But more of it is on the person that needs to take the coaching.

You know, I could say that some of the best advice and guidance that I've gotten in my

life came from people that didn't have the best delivery.

You know, I look at critical moments of my life.

Things that my football coaches did and said, things that my grandfather did and

said, things, things that my coaches in this business did and said that that

were the most valuable man and I'd say three, four of them, they were not doing

it with the great delivery.

So you got to be able as the player to take it no matter what the delivery is,

if it's going to make you better.

And the coaches take it, take responsibility to do your best with the delivery.

But ultimately the people that can't handle the accountability and get frustrated

by the accountability in BCD blame, complain and defend.

So if you're being held accountable, let's try not to BCD blame, complain and

defend because that's that's below the line stuff.

You got to take responsibility, hold yourself accountable, take extreme

ownership, accountability, all those things as much as you possibly can.

But real simple, the people that are draining you that don't want to take it,

the criticism, constructive criticism, to help them grow, give them less of that.

And sometimes they got to learn on their own.

You got to protect your energy and not drain your energy with trying to give

something to somebody that they don't want.

Like I'm cool with the accountability.

I want the accountability.

Like most people that are high level performers, higher coaches.

So like we were talking recently, like why would Michael Jordan have a coach,

you know, Tim Grover in the off season to push him physically when he's the greatest

basketball player on the planet.

How can you help me?

If I'm the greatest basketball player on the planet, how can you help me?

Well, by holding me accountable, by pushing me to do stuff that I don't want to do,

that's going to make me better.

That's 90% of it.

And so that's that's the example of people that want the coaching,

that people that want to be held accountable to go to the next level.

Those are the people that you want to work with.

We want to work with the people that want to be work with, work with the people that want to be held accountable.

And the mistakes that leaders make sometimes as they try to hold people accountable and work with people that don't want to be work with.

And so the frustration from that makes them question holding people accountable at all.

Instead, they should be holding the people accountable that want to be held accountable.

And then the people that want to be held accountable, a lot of times their leaders are not holding them accountable.

And that's what they need and that's really what they want.

And that's what they're looking to you for is like, man, I wish you would just hold me accountable.

I wish you would push me further.

I wish you would push me harder.

And so you got to identify which people are you going to coach, which ones are you not going to coach, who you going to hold accountable, who you're not going to hold accountable.

But once you find the group that you're going to hold accountable because they're down for you holding them accountable, you need to do it.

And you need to challenge them because that's how you're going to bring the best out of them.

And people will show you, you know, themselves if they don't follow through, you give them coaching, you give them direction.

And they don't follow through with those things.

You got to try to veer off now.

When you're building, you know, my old, my friend and mentor, you should say bad breath is better than no breath.

Bad breath is better than no breath, right?

So if you're just starting, you know, if you're starting a league, a team, whatever, like the first people kids you get,

the franchise team that you have,

rarely are they going to the Super Bowl, but you got to work what you got to work with.

So you might have a basketball team where there's five players and you're like, man, I'm, you know, they're, these are the bad news bears.

I got to try to make them, you know, average from from bad.

But you might only have five players.

So you got to work with the players that you got, but you got to do a good job recruiting and replacing and upgrading that talent.

And when you're talking about recruiting and replacing and upgrading that talent, you could do a lot in the interview process and the upfront process to learn and realize how coachable are these people because there's a quote that we've been throwing around and says average players want to be left alone.

Hey, leave me alone.

I just want to do my own thing.

I don't want nobody to coach me.

That's average players want to be left alone.

So if you're listening to this and you're somebody that's like, man, I want to be left alone all the time.

You're on the road more to average.

If you're lucky, good players want to be coached.

Good players want to be coached, but great players.

They want to be told the truth.

What's the difference between being coached and being told the truth?

The difference is being told the truth.

I forget what movie it was that old school movie they used to use the clip of.

You want the truth?

You can't handle the truth.

I forget what that was, but the ones that want to be great, they want the truth.

And they can handle the truth.

So if you want to be the truth, if you want to be great, you want to be the truth.

You got to be able to handle the truth to become the truth.

And there's a difference between, yeah, I could take some coaching, but I can't handle the truth.

You could be good, but you can't be great if you can't handle the truth.

Understand that when you're coaching people, you're going to be blessed with the ability to impact a lot of other people.

So you got to identify what category everybody's in because different individuals require all different types of coaching.

I think what can help you with coaching different types of people is to look at the five love languages.

That's a personal book for relationships, and it'll help your relationships.

But everybody operates and feels love differently.

And there's five different categories that they go off of.

And it helps you identify, hey, maybe the way that I like to be loved isn't the way that my spouse or significant other likes to be loved.

And I need to learn how to speak that language, or it's like speaking to them in a completely different language and you're wondering why they don't understand you.

And the same thing goes with coaching is your people a lot of times have a love language that's different than your love language.

And if you're giving them the same love language that you like, they might not be able to handle it.

So for example, like me, I had a hard coach coming into business.

It's comical almost to think of how hard my coach was coming into this business.

And I liked it.

It helped me to progress and reach limits that I know I never would have reached these heights if it wasn't to have a coach that pushed me that far, that hard.

That direct.

But I watched a lot of people around me not be able to handle it.

Those that stay will become champions. Those that can handle it will become champions.

And I noticed and I learned that I like to be coached that way.

So for a long time, I coached others that way, but not every.

everybody was meant to be coached that way and they couldn't handle it that way.

What does that mean that they're not cut out to be great?

I think they may be headed in that direction because if you want to be the truth, you

got to be told the truth.

But you also got to be able to coach average players and you got to be able to coach good

players.

It would be great if we all just had great players.

Everybody was just perfect.

That's why the art of coaching comes into play.

And when you're listening to this, I want you to be thinking to yourself as how am I

doing there as a coach, but also how am I doing there as a player being coachable to a

person, how am I doing in that area?

Because I think for you to go to the next level, everybody got to have an accountability

partner.

Everybody got to have somebody that can hold them accountable to what it is that they

said that they wanted to do.

But this week, as we break the huddle here, I want you to identify what is your goal for

this week or what is your goal for this month?

What promises, what activities are going to get you close to that that you could promise

to yourself to say, hey, hold me accountable to working out six days this week or this month,

six times a week.

Or hold me accountable.

I'm going to go to church twice a month.

Or hold me accountable.

I'm going to save this much of every paycheck.

Hold me accountable that I'm going to do this much production, which requires me to give

this many presentations.

So just hold me accountable to giving this many presentations.

But define your, like, what is my goal and then have the activities and then find somebody

that you said you're going to allow the holders that you're going to allow to hold you accountable.

And then as a coach, go find the people that are open to being held accountable and have

conversations where you want to reach them, you want to stretch them, you want to push them,

and you have check-ins where we're going to just be answerable to what you did versus what

you said that you were going to do.

And a lot of times the results don't always happen immediately.

But the activities is what I want you to focus on.

The effort in the process that you can mark down that people are going to do, what is

the effort in the process that we're going to commit to?

Yeah, we want this result.

And we're going to keep an eye on this result.

And I'm going to hold you accountable to this result.

But bigger, three-fourths of the accountability needs to be into the activity that gets you

the result.

Okay?

So remember, average players, they want to be left alone.

Good players, they want to be coached, but the greats, they want to be told the truth

with an F, the truth.

If you want to be the truth, you got to handle the truth.

Hey, have a great week.

We really appreciate you as always joining us in the Grandcast studio.

If you know somebody that this can help, take 20 seconds out, share the message with them,

share it with them so we can impact more people and have a great week.

Thanks for joining us in another episode of the Grandcast.

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